Lost Kids (a.i.)

sixteen

Weak lose control. Weak lose control. Don't let weakness show. Weak lose control.

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I was seated on the couch, watching whatever trash LA show was currently on. The four boys were in the kitchen still eating. This morning they were being quite sluggish. Lowered the volume on the tv, tuning into their conversation. I hated eavesdropping, it was gossip and I didn't like gossip, but honestly what they were talking about was way more interesting than keeping up with the Kardashians.

"This tour is going to be amazing, I know it!" I hear Calum excitingly shout out. They were going on tour? They were gonna leave me?

"Of course they are going on your Wendy! You're so stupid to think they would never leave, come on they are in a freaking band!" My thoughts begin to beat me up instead am. I was hurt, not by the boys, but myself. I, myself, wasn't stable enough to stay alone, that wasn't their fault, it was mine.

I could already feel my cheeks getting warm and my eyes glossy. I wasn't going to sit there and cry, I had to run and hide. I didn't want to be seen as weak to them. If there was one thing I learned from being popular it was weakness gives others control, if you are weak, you have no control.

I slip out if the den, heading to the attic, my hiding place. I struggle to get up without totally breaking down, but I struggle up in between dusty boxes. My hand gestures to the small window and it fly open, letting the bright sunlight in.

"Weak lose control. Weak lose control. Don't let weakness show. Weak lose control." I mutter to myself, hugging my knees to my chest and rocking back at forth. I really am going insane.

After a few moments to myself, I regain my stability. Crawling over to the window, I peer out looking upon the busy shops. I wish I was down there. In the city. I'd kill it just be walking around. I didn't have to be with anyone or doing anything, just walking freely for once.

"Hey pal, why the long face?" The familiar blonde Aussie makes himself a seat beside me comfortably.

"Oh, it's nothing, I'm over it now." I tell Luke calmly. It was true, I was over it, it just wasn't nothing. This was something I hid in all my life, fears. I hid in my fears.

"If you say so." He shrugs, rubbing circles on my back. "Anything special you want to do on October 8th?" He changes the subject quickly.

"I just want to get out of here." I state blankly, I was in a daze starring out the window. "Usually I visit my readying place. This is my first year I can be seen, so it could be quite done fun." I ramble on, now distracting myself on good things.

"But... Nevermind, I don't I want to rain on your party."

"No tell me, I don't mind."

"Well, you seem pretty popular in this old town, don't you think they remember you?" He explains, how could I forget something so important, I was so stupid.

"Shit, you're right." Since the guys have moved in, I've practically forgotten that I died.

"We'll figure something out." I sigh heavily and nod, looking back out the small window. Freedom was so close.

{yet so far away. Hahaha update! Idk if this makes since, I've written like 10 chapters and threw them out because I didn't like them and basically Idk what has actually been written and what I threw out.

Enjoy this horrible chapter, live you guys!

-srd}