50 Shades Of Felix

Operation Orgy Escape

Chapter 3: Operation Orgy Escape

"Let the wildest orgy of the year begin!" The muffled voice of the host and blaring music echoed in the glass hallway.

Felix paced in the hallway beside the lubricated door, his chin high. I need to find somebody to escort out, so i can get out as well. Deep in thought, he didn't hear the panting and yelling of Edgars four henchman down the hallway right behind him.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S ESCAPED!" An aggravated Brian Diver bellows, startling poor old Pewdiepie.

"WHERE WOULD HE BE?" Backpack Kid throws his arms in the air.

Oh, poo bum, He thinks.

"HEY, YOU!" Fergus says with his musty green finger pointed straight at felix, who was paralyzed in his tracks by the double doors. Felix didn't miss any opportunities he got to escape, so he just bolted, Edgar's army of henchmen trailing behind him. Thankfully, Brian Diver and Fergus were extremely unfit, so they barely made it over the drawbridge without collapsing in a fit of asthma. Backpack Kid, however, started flossing so fast that he rose up off the ground and started flying towards Felix. Felix thought that the only method of escape was to run into the Japanese Suicide Forest that neighbored Edgar's mansion, so he ran to the nearest tree, climbed a few dead bodies to get to the top and hoped that the Backpack Kid wouldn't find him. Thankfully, Backpack Kid flew right past him. He gazed back at the mansion doorway, to see Alysha being badly scolded by Shrek.

"I can't believe you let that mother fucker escape!"

"I'm sorry, Master Shrek!" Alysha pleaded for her safety.

"You know what King Edgar will do to me when he finds out Felix has escaped the dungeon, don't you?" Alysha nodded her tiny head.

"And you know what the punishment I must give you is, don't you?" Alysha nodded her tiny head again, this time with much, much more fear.

"Alysha, I am damning you to THE ARSEHOLE!"

"Shrek, no!" Alysha pleaded, but it was too late. Shrek was already forcing Alysha's head into his smelly arsehole as her limp body collapsed onto the soily ground followed by Shrek who landed on her head.

"Stay, quiet, why don't you! This is how I killed many plebs who dared to disobey our lord, King Edgar!"

he just couldn't watch anymore. he turned his head away from the slow suffocation of his savior and started to pray.

"God, please help me in this tragic moment. Gulshan, give me a sign you're there." The treetops suddenly parted, and a gleaming figure glided through the leaves. The figure of Felix's dead lover, Gulshan Kumar, glided in the soft breeze that opened Felix's crusty eyes.

"Gulshan, is that really you?" Felix asked in awe.

"Yes, it is my love. But I am not human. I am just a spirit. A spirit sent here from God to help protect you from this journey that you are soon to partake in."

"God? Journey?"

"Yes, God. He sent me here."

"TRUE INDEED, I DID SEND YOU HERE, GULSHAN." A booming voice came out of nowhere, shocking both Felix and Gulshan. Emerging from the branches below was the one and only, Steve Harvey.

"St- Steve Harvey?" Felix stuttered. "You're God?"

"In the eyes of some I am, but no. I'm just messing with you."

"But... you can still help me, right?"

He thought long and hard about this, as he sits there and floats in the sky.

"I suppose i can. But you must talk to Gulshan first. He know how you can protect yourself."

Felix turned to his ghostly lover.

"Gulshan, my love you must help me. Please."

"I shall felix." He replies. "Close your eyes."

And so he did. He heard a booming voice, but he still keeps his eyes shut.

Long ago, King Edgar was just a mere boy, no bigger than you. And though you may not see it, he has weaknesses. For instance, when he was young, his abusive parents would beat him hard with schezwan sauce bottles. It was traumatic.

Felix exhaled. He never thought that Edgar would have a weakness.

The only way you can beat him is to find the last three bottles of it. Then you can overtake him. One is hidden in the death place of his 2nd cousin Logan Paul. The next is in the hiding place of Miss Colombia. And the last is where Jake Paul left his soul. You must get them before it's too late.