Book Writing

Darkness

Knock knock.

"Aruke, is there something wrong?" Dad asked me through my bedroom door as I leaned on it inside my room, my head on my hands. "You haven't come out at all since you came back from school. I'm worried."

I didn't trust myself to answer him. I knew that the moment I opened my mouth, sobs could come out instead. Grief and regret would control my entire body. The pain I had endured for so long would resurface, rearing its ugly head to remind me of what I had kept away from Konju.

I'm so sorry, Konju. I.... I was subconsciously scared of what you would think of me after I said that. I didn't want to lose a great friend like you over something like this. But I was just being selfish again.....

I... I must have hurt you deeply, hadn't I?

Cue my dark side.

Of course you did! Why wouldn't he be hurt?! You're a horrible person who doesn't deserve ANYTHING. You don't deserve a family, a friend, or HAPPINESS! There are a lot of people out there who don't have what you have, but you can't even keep yourself together! You don't deserve it! You don't deserve it you don't deserve it you don't deserve it you don't deserve it you don't deserve it you don't deserve it you don't deserve it you don't deserve it!!

I.... I-I'm so sorry, Konju....

Tears fell down my cheeks as I curled up into a ball, sobbing and wailing. My heart felt really heavy, but I didn't do anything to stop it.

Because I didn't care anymore. 

How could I, when I had just possibly lost my only friend?

I....

I really am useless, aren't I?

At that moment, a new emotion entered my heart.

For the first time in my life, I felt despair.

I felt like a snake filled with negative emotions had wrapped itself around me tightly, refusing to let me go until I had eaten all the emotions it wanted me to swallow.

I began shaking. This feeling... It's so scary....

You're a monster. How can you be scared of despair?

That did it.

That sealed the job.

The pain and suffering increased tenfold.

And then, I got a pounding headache.

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" I screamed as I grabbed my head, vainly hoping that it would stop if I did.

It didn't work.

The pain was so high that I eventually blacked out.

And my last thoughts?

Forgive me, everyone...