Miss Sacrifice

Jaaliyah

The weekend happened fast after my day with Malik. I hadn't heard anything from my dad when he arrived home from work each day. He continued on with not eating the food I made, he insulted me when I made a mistake but there was a break from the touching and the hitting and that was the good thing. I didn't get a text from Malik since our day together and I couldn't help but think that he was not into me anymore. I assumed the worse and didn't text him either, I thought that he hated me because of what I told him and I immediately hated myself for telling him. Maybe he thought that I was too much to handle or he thought that I would be a charity case if he dated me. I usually had to deal with people backing away from me when they had a glimpse of my life. Not many people know about it but when they noticed how strict my dad was, they assumed and left. My life was a story yet to be told with conflict all over but with no resolution. 

Tanya came over today but I wasn't feeling it, I wanted to tell her about my Malik but I knew she wouldn't listen and just go on about her boyfriend. Sitting with Tanya was like sitting on a merry-go-round that moves very slow, I didn't listen much but gave her the same reaction as always, head nods and mouth drops.  

"So what's new with you?" She asked me. 

"Nothing. I'm just trying to see if I could go out somewhere, but as always I have no idea where." I said and shook my head. 

Tanya reached for her purse and looked up at me, "You wanna smoke?" She asked. 

I've never smoked before and I knew that Tanya was a cigarette smoker, and that was the one thing I wanted to avoid smoking. 

"What, smoke 'Ports?" I asked playfully. 

"Girl, no! I stopped smoking 'Ports." She pulled out a tiny pink plastic container and smelled it, "Weed." She said and her eyes lit up. 

"My dad's home." I said. 

"So what! We can go to the park or something." Tanya opened the container and the air now reeked with the scent of marijuana. 

"Put it away Tanya!" I nudged her hands back to her purse. 

Tanya rolled her eyes, "You're no fun." She said.

Tanya was always the fast one out of our friend group, she and Marie always hung out together when I wasn't available but they always ended up in trouble because of Tanya. She had a series of boyfriends who took her out and brought her back worse than she left, it was sad that she was so gullible to listen to them. Her name went around school quicker than the flu when fall came around. Every guy can say that they know her from inside out and it wouldn't be an exaggeration it would be literal. 

"I am a bunch of fun but I just don't want to get in trouble." 

"Oh please, tell me one thing you've done that was fun." She challenged me. 

I thought for a second, "One time I snuck out of the house to go to your sleep over party." I said. 

"Girl, you were shaking the whole time and you didn't sleep because of how scared you were." Tanya laughed at me. 

"Whatever!" I rolled my eyes. Tanya always had a way of making me feel bad about myself and as a best friend she never seemed to notice and I was never strong enough to tell her. 

Tanya's phone rang and she answered it, starting a conversation with someone I didn't know. Her face became serious as she listened to who was on the other line. Suddenly Tanya quickly grabbed her purse and looked at me apologetically. I was confused as to what was wrong. 

"Tony needs me. I gotta go!" She said and started to run.

"Who's Tony?" I asked but it was too late. Tanya was already down the street running and I was still sitting wondering who Tony was. 

I didn't give it much thought, I only assumed that it was someone who she was dealing with again. Tanya always told me that she cheated on her boyfriend, but I've never heard of this Tony. I didn't think about it anymore than I should, I went back inside and went stayed in my room, reading until Malik texted or at least until something happened.