Miss Sacrifice

Malik

   Jaaliyah looked like a goddess where she was seated in front of me and to make things even better, her sweet scented spray pulled me in closer to her as we spoke. I thought of Longwoods Garden in remembrance of my brother Malcolm, as this was the place that he would come and pass time with us. I cherished the days that I'd spent with Jaaliyah knowing that the situation that she's in would not allow me to see her as much as I would like. I'd planned to show her parts of this garden that had the most beautiful bouquets of flowers yet. 

   We spent the rest of the time talking about my life for the most part. Jaaliyah didn't let me in on her life as much as I wanted but I understood why, there were things that are sensitive and I didn't want to pick a raw wound. We didn't leave the garden until late but Jaaliyah didn't seem to notice or be bothered by it in the moment, she actually wanted to see more parts of the garden but I insisted on taking her to dinner then home.

"Please Malik can't we stay a little while longer?" Jaaliyah pleaded. Her eyes sparkled in the dimmed light, she looked perfect. 

"Ma, I have to take you home its getting late." I said. As much as I wanted to spend the whole night with her I had to get her home if I wanted to see her again. 

   Her face gave off a worried look that was soon covered with a fake smile. I quickly realized why this was and brought her in for a tight hug of reassurance. I took her out through the back door which revealed water fountains with intense dazzling lights under the dark sky. There was a breeze that made the water flow even faster and colors fly higher. The colors were vivid with life, they were a combination of purple and blue laser colors and the art of the flowing water gave the colors an amazing exertion with the lights. The colors bounced off of the night and radiated through us making the night another beautiful reason to live. 

"Wow." Jaaliyah muttered with a smile. 

I moved closer behind her, "What do you think?" I whispered. 

Jaaliyah slightly turned her head and shuddered under my touch. "Its amazing." 

I took her hands from behind and outspread her arms from her side, I was very careful of how I touched her not knowing where her bruises were.

 "If you spread your arms like this, you could almost feel as if you're part of the wind at this time of night." Jaaliyah fought me off a bit not knowing what to expect of me behind her, "Its ok Ma, let me." 

  She didn't respond but I could feel her body loosen against my grip. She let out a heavy sign which seemed as if she'd been holding it for a long time. I could feel every curve of her body against mine and I knew she felt my body as well. We didn't move away from each other, instead I took in her scent and watched the waters fly. Something went through me in that moment and I realized that I could hold Jaaliyah forever in my arms, she was soft  and delicate and I wanted to protect her. 

Jaaliyah turned her head to face me, "Malik...." She said and looked away. 

   I let her hands free and lifted her chin up with my fingers. I stared into her eyes for a while and didn't say a word. I noticed there was something more to her story beside the one she's told me and I intended to find out. She had worry mixed with curiosity in her eyes and I wanted her worries to be gone and the curiosity to become adventures. 

"Tell me everything Ma." I said. 

  I looked at her for a moment and suddenly everything was on fire, there was brilliancy and there was beauty. I leaned in slowly and took her lips into mine, when she didn't pull back I  kept going. I took her face in my hands and kissed her passionately, my heart was pounding and my head was racing but I didn't stop. I pulled Jaaliyah in closer, giving her full access as she tangled her fingers in my hair and moved them across my back. It felt as if sparks were going off behind me, things were getting intense and I felt my manhood begin to grow. I pulled her in closer making out bodies connect together so much that they could have intertwined in one another. I slowly introduced my tongue to her but she pulled away immediately. 

"Sorry." She said and she looked down, "Im not used to it." 

"It's all good. I'm just movin' too fast, my fault Ma." I responded. I wanted to punch myself for that one.

  Jaaliyah didn't say anything, but instead she gave me a tight hug and pressed her forehead against my chest and began to cry. I didn't know what to think, if the kiss set her off or if memories triggered her back to her father. I'd hated how the day was deteriorating but whatever it was I knew it was my job to make her feel better. She sniffled a little against me and I could feel her body vibrate as she tried to hold in her tears and sobs. 

"I gotta get home Malik. It's getting late." Jaaliyah said. She backed away from me and wiped her tears with the back of her hand and hugged her body. In that moment my heart sunk and I felt something that made me question everything.

"You don't wanna eat first Ma?" I asked with a lump in my throat. 

She shook her head, "I wanna see you again, and if I don't get home soon that won't happen again." 

I shot my gazed at the sky and inhaled deeply. "Aight. Let's go."

 I could feel anger begin to rumble deep inside the pit of my stomach, I didn't want to let it out but I knew she noticed and I quickly fixed myself. I took her hand in mine and we walked our way to the back exit in the same old fashioned silence. Jaaliyah kept her head down the for the whole time and it was the same in the car, she would transition from looking out of the window to picking at her nails. I knew she was upset but I didn't know how to approach it to make her feel better, I couldn't help but feel as if it was my fault and that I'd triggered her. 

  I drove her home in silence and dropped her off in front of her house. The porch light was off but the kitchen and the upstairs lights were both gleamed. I noticed from the corner of my eye that Jaaliyah became tense and her faced altered into worry. 

"Thank you, for tonight Malik. I really enjoyed it." Jaaliyah said. Her eyes were locked with mine and at that very moment I noticed for the first time that there was something deeper in the way she looked at me, something more wanting and needing. 

"I know you did Ma. I enjoyed it too." I replied. 

Walking Jaaliyah to her door must've been the hardest things I had to do, considering what she has to face. I watched her as she shut the door behind her, wondering what will happen next.