Miss Sacrifice

Jaaliyah

It was very hard to argue with time when all it was doing was flying by and getting past me. There was a part of me who wanted to agree with Malik and just go out with him but there was another part of me that wanted to stay home and cry. Tears constantly burned my eyes when I thought of why Malik would ever be interested in a girl like myself, I wondered if what he wanted was the same as what my dad wanted. I hated myself for thinking that of Malik but I couldn't help but let my mind wonder to that specific place. I thought of the night that was to come with Malik, I was prepared to go with him but telling him was far beyond what I wanted to do. There was a part of me that just wanted to see him at the door and take me out but I knew that would never be a reality. 

The phone call with Malik lasted until my dad came home later that day which was around five in the afternoon. I didn't tell him why I had to end the call, I only kept a story line of I had to get in the shower. He was not too happy when I informed him on our ending call but I assured him that I would call afterwards. 

"Please don't hang up ma." Malik pleaded. 

"I have to Malik, I need to shower." I said, looking behind me for my dad. 

"It's five, why do you have to shower so early?" He asked. 

"Because... I have a date at 6:30 and I need time to get ready." I said. 

I stood up with a shock running through me and started to rummage through my closet. Not knowing when I made up my mind, I gave Malik a time of when our official date would commence. 

"Wow, who's this date with ma?" I could sense his smirk across his face, and I knew it was big. 

"Oh, just a guy who keeps asking me out. I thought I'd finally give him a chance." I replied. 

"Well, we'll find out then." 

I covered my mouth to control the big smile that was taking control of my face, "Bye Malik." I said. 

"Aight. Bye ma."

As soon as I hung up the phone I ran to my closet and looked for my favorite red dress. I absolutely loved that red dress, it had small ruffles around the arms and the around the hem. The dress was laced around the neck and the chest, it wasn't revealing at all but instead it was  body con than anything. I took out a long black sweater that reached my knees. I couldn't help but feel the excitement run though my spine and up to my head, I wanted to go out and talk to Malik all night but of course that only happened in my brain. 

I heard my dad coming up the stairs while I was looking for my shoes and ran to hide the clothes back into the closet. I noticed when his footsteps stopped and he came towards my door. My heart fell into my stomach and rushed over to my bed and made it look like I was reading. I turned my phone off while looking down at my book, and back at the door with my heart in my throat. 

"Liyah!" My dad exclaimed. 

"Yes daddy." I said. I turned my head to see him behind me with a beer bottle in his hand. 

"Did you make me something to eat?" He asked. 

I grimaced, "Yeah its all on the stove." I was shocked that he didn't notice the food but noticed the fridge well enough to get himself a cold beer. 

"I have friends downstairs, go say 'hi'. Don't try to look cute either, I know how you like to be a little whore around new niggas." He said as he scanned my body across my bed. 

When I noticed, I pulled my sheets onto my body and positioned myself in another direction. My dad had his own tactics on how to get to me, his eyes did his dirty work while his mouth was the main worker. I tried to push the insult to the left but with the amount insults I've endured from him, I took it as the truth. 

I didn't speak, but instead I stood up and walked past my dad. Waiting for him to throw another at me but he didn't. Before I knew it, I felt him get a handful of my shirt and spun me around to get my attention. I looked at him and noticed his eyes, lust again. The odious look on his face caused me to begin crying before he had a chance to speak to me. I pulled myself away from him and made my way to his friends. 

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand before I approached them and when I did, I noticed three guys sitting on the couches. They looked at me before I had a chance to get a focus of them. 

"Hey! Wen didn't tell me his little girl was a grown woman." One said. He was a lighter complexion than the average black man, more so a brown skinned. He had a low cut that was not properly brushed, more of a disheveled look.  He was big but not overweight and his shirt was stained with oil from his long day of work. 

There was another man, he had on really dirty working clothes and looked haggard more than anything. The last man was light skinned like me, with curly hair that was not natural but rather queer. Something on the edge of fixed but also ruffled. They all stared at me and nodded their heads in greeting, like all the brothers did in my neighborhood.

"Hello." I said. 

The light skinned man was named Charlie, the man with the dirty clothes was Mark and the brown skinned was Anthony. They all came around me and gave me an aggressive hug rendering me a mix of different scents. I backed away afraid I'd suffocate from the horrid stench of men, I would much rather smell Malik. I had a way of doing that, thinking of Malik in situations where he wasn't needed. 

"You are not what I expected to see young lady." Said Charlie. 

"Thanks?" I said not knowing how to take it. 

My dad stumbled behind me and slightly pushed me out of his way, he looked at his friends then to me. "Liyah the guys and I are staying in today, so you can go ahead out with your lil' friends." He said but didn't mean it deep inside. 

His eyes were piercing through mine and they were not convincing but I decided to take the chance and make my date with Malik happen. I knew he was only being nice as a show to put on for his friends and I knew that it would not last, but it would be the only time I'd get something like this. 

"Thanks daddy." I said with a smile. The only real smile I've ever given him in years.