Screw You

My Vacation From Hell

(Warning: This rant is bitcher than most)

Soooo, I didn't die on the damn boat...

But I got either a virus, food poisoning or motion sickness the morning we got off the damn thing. That was fun.

Here's the basic layout:

Day One: Looked around the ship, went to the pool, went to dinner at this fancy place. Now at dinner, you're assigned a table and there are specific waiters for each table. Each one has either two or three waiters and we had three. Best part?

One of the waiters was fucking hot! Like, no joke. He was FUCKING hot. So needless to say, I loved dinner.

Oh yeah, and the food was amazing.

Day Two: Half Moon Cay=Paradise. Half Moon Cay is this private island owned by the carnival company and it is just absolutely gorgeous! I was looking through the pictures we took and it just doesn't look real.

Day Three: Nassau. It's an island in the Bahamas and I got to go snorkeling again. The boat ride was about an hour but the cool part was, you could sit either on the boat or on the nets attached to the side. So we did that and you could feel the water underneath you and it was amazing. But the ocean was a complete bitch and made the water SUPER choppy so I slowly drowned through a giant straw for an hour. It was cool, thought.

Day Four: Freeport. There's literally nothing to do in Freeport except shopping so the family just stayed on bored, at WAAYYY too much food and watched movies all day. (If I was in charge of the movies, I would SOOO play Titanic just to fuck with people. But I got to watch Captain America 2 on a giant screen while in a pool so...)

Day Five: D-Day. This was a sea day, meaning we were heading back to Cape Canaveral. This is when my younger sibling started puking and getting fevers so I was the only on who wasn't sick. And then shit happened.

Day Six: Arrival. I wake up, BAM time to puke up shit. Get off the boat, time to feel like shit. Get in the car, still feel like shit. Fall asleep during the ten hour car trip, wake up two hours later and puke up shit. Drink shit medicine. Dry heave. WORST PART. I COULDN'T EAT ANYTHING THE WHOLE DAMN DAY. AND THAT IS A PROBLEM BECAUSE I REALLY ENJOY EATING.

Now any normal person would say something like, "Anyway, I had a great time!" and end this on a positive note but I am not a normal person.

At all.

We got back last night, I threw up some more and I just now woke up. It is currently 11:30am.

Be grateful I even updated, bitches.

(Leave comments)