My Favorite Song

Chapter 21

Rachel

I sit in my room fiddling with the lace of the beautiful negligee Finn bought me and think about what my mother said. 

I know that I love Finn and I know that apart from what’s been happening this week that I’ve never felt happier or more content in my life then during the past month with him. Do I want to break up with him and only be his friend? I know the answer to that is no but I also don’t want to hurt again like I have this week and especially today. 

The one thing I realize whilst I’m thinking about all these things is that Quinn won. She set out this week spreading rumours and making up all the lies about her mother to break Finn and I up and it worked and that makes me so angry because we let her. I had thought that our relationship was stronger than that and it wasn’t and I think that’s what hurts the most. 

I realize then that there’s no way that I’m going to just hand over my boyfriend, the guy I love to the likes of Quinn Fabray, things aren’t completely lost yet between us so I fix my face up with some make up and rush down the stairs. 

I look around the crowd trying to find him and I see him standing over talking to Kurt quietly and I’m just about to go to him when Santana grabs hold of me. 

‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere’ she tells me ‘Come on we’re going to start up again’ she says before dragging me towards the stage we had set up to play on. 

‘San wait I need to talk to Finn’ I tell her. 

‘You’ve been talking to him for ages already lets play before everyone gets bored and goes home’ she argues. 

I turn to Blaine and Puck who both shrug ‘Ok 3 songs and I’m done and I want to change the last one to the new one ok’ I tell them and they all agree. 

Finn

I hear her voice singing and I can’t help but stare and listen. I just want to get out of here before someone says something and I just break down in front of all these people. I can’t believe that it’s all over and that I lost her so easily. 

I didn’t tell Kurt that we broke up I didn’t want to ruin his night or Rachel's because I know Kurt will bombard us all with questions. 

‘Hey guys this is a new song I started writing it this week and finished it today so bare with us cause it’s still new’ her angelic voice sounds over the microphone causing me to stop. I love her singing but I also love her music, her words are so beautiful so I force myself to stop and listen. 

Rachel

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Because I believe that we can work things out

I thought I had all the answers
Never giving in
But baby since you’ve gone
I admit that I was wrong 

I can see that Finn is moving towards the back of the pool area and most likely towards the exit and I sigh in relief when I see him stop and turn to listen. I’m singing this for him now; I just pray he’ll stay. 

All I know is I’m lost without you
I’m not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you
I need you by my side

If we ever said we’d never be together
And we ended it with goodbye
I don’t know what I’d do
I’m lost without you

I keep trying to find my way
And all I know is I’m lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
Lost without. 

I let the tears fall freely down my face and take the opportunity with the break in the song to try and get myself under control. Most of the people at the party are oblivious to my tears because they are too wrapped up in their partners or someone else that they’re dancing with. Well everyone except the one person that matters, Finn. 

How am I ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I’m so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You’re the only thing that’s on my mind

Hold me
It’s so cold outside
And I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right
No I’m not too proud to say

All I know is I’m lost without you
I’m not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you
I need you by my side

If we ever said we’d never be together
And we ended it with goodbye
I don’t know what I’d do
I’m lost without you

I keep trying to find my way
And all I know is I’m lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
Lost without. 

‘I’m sorry’ I mouth to him. He’s standing at the back still with his hands back in his pockets and I can see the tears running down his face as well. 

If I could only hold you now
Make the pain just go away 
Can’t stop the tears from running down my face

All I know is I’m lost without you
I’m not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you
I need you by my side

If we ever said we’d never be together
And ended it with goodbye
I don’t know what I’d do
I’m lost without you

I keep trying to find my way
And all I know is I’m lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
Lost without you. 

When I open my eyes from singing the last chorus I find that Finn is gone. I look around to try and find him but I can’t see him anywhere. My heart immediately falls and I realize that I’ve ruined the best thing that ever happened to me because I was too stubborn and too afraid to put my heart on the line and forgive him. 

Finn

Have I mentioned yet how much I love this girl? Just when I think she can’t be more perfect she goes and takes my breath away. I realize when I listen to the words of the song and to her singing it that she want to forgive me and that she hasn’t given up on us yet so when the song winds down I weave my way through people so I can get to her as quickly as possible. I see her searching for me in the crowd just as I reach the side of the stage I don’t wait for anything and I don’t care whose watching, I stalk right on there and pull her into my arms and fuse our lips together. 

Rachel

He comes out of nowhere and then his mouth is devouring mine. I’m so shocked at first that I don’t respond but when I feel him pulling away dejectedly I quickly snap into action and winding my arms around his neck I pull him back down to my mouth. 

We kiss until we have no choice but to pull away and even then I don’t let him get far away and he rests his forehead against mine. 

‘I love you’ he whispers 

‘I love you too’ I reply. We become aware then that we have an audience but before we get the chance to talk I see my dad and Carol coming towards me with a cake lined with 18 candles.