wow i haven't updated this in a while
tbh i wanna make a serious oneshots/headcanons book at one point but i think i'll hold off until i finish my main book
yes, i do headcanon that the cookies live in a kingdom and they all coexist and stuff
it's probably canon who knows
anyways
in this chapter i'll give the unnecessary and dumb details about that headcanon
-the kingdom is divided into four parts, chaotic, more chaotic, even more chaotic, and most chaotic
-jk they're not actually called that
-they're called the central cookie kingdom, western cookie kingdom, eastern cookie kingdom, and southern cookie kingdom
-yeah but they're all pretty chaotic so
-central cookie kingdom is where the legendaries and royals live
-legendaries have their own castle where they hold meetings but never agree on anything
-royals have a palace including princess, knight, pistachio, and the other royals
-everyone else in the central kingdom are civilized residents who actually know what they're doing
-normal convos be all like
cookie 1: how are you doing?
cookie 2: fine, thank you!
-and now the western cookie kingdom oh boy
-it's the largest out of all the parts so lots of cookies live there
-and the most chaotic mind you
-their normal convos be all like:
cookie: tell beet to stop shooting at my fucking kids it's scarring them
carrot: BEET GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE
beet: shoving a plant in her mouth MAKE ME, PIGTAIL BITCH
-or
cookie 1: is wind archer okay he keeps staring into herb's house
cookie 2: damn there must be something important in herb's house for a legendary to go there
cookie 3: no i think archer is just mega gay for herb
-everything is just chaos there is no end to it
-also 95% of the cookies lives there
-eastern cookie kingdom is like the "untouchable area"
-probably also the smallest region
-the red dragon used to live there but knight kinda yeeted its tail off so now it's thanos snapped
-so basically it's half hot desert and half active volcanos that will kill you to death
-only cookies who live there are devil and dino, they mad lads
-dino just likes the heat and the dinosaurs also live there
-and devil is stinkey pee child so of course they live in literal hell
-fire spirit occasionally visits because he's an angsty immortal who gets depressed a lot
-also it was rumored to have the strawberry jam sword oOoOoOooOooHHhhHhH
-final one boys, it's the northern kingdom
-basically it's just the coldie coldie area with snow and stuff
-it also has bg music playing constantly and no one knows where it's coming from
-the winter cookies live there, like snow sugar, red bean, and a couple others
-also it's very cold
-skating queen and ice candy occasionally go there to practice stuff
-ice candy always traumatizes red bean's penguins when she takes her team to practice so that's fun
-did i mention it's cold?
-they say there's a wolf hanging out in the mountains hMMmmMmM (no it's not kumiho or werewolf)
-a yeti also pops up from time to time and tosses snowballs at the cookies
-lastly, it's really cold
and that's all i've got!!
YOU ARE READING
cookie run shitpost oneshots/headcanons
Fanfictionno more updates! thanks for reading gang kiwi has finally reached the breaking point and died making this book of bullshit cookie run didn't deserve this (suggestive mentions but no direct nsfw so its fine- also there's swearing) (this is a SHITPOST...
