i swear this isn't an incorrect quotes book
plum: peach might be strong, but she has no sense of self-preservation. i think she was baked without one
panda dumpling: pan pan? (how?)
plum: watch.
plum: hey peach, i'll race you downstairs
peach: ok
peach: proceeds to jump out a fucking window in 2 story house
lime: when i was small-
gumball, snickering: was?
another gumball and lime one-
gumball: guess what? when i tried to put "lime" as my password, it said that it was too short!
lime: pfft! when i tried to use "gumball," it was it was too WEAK!
lemon: i'm not great at advice, may i interest you in a sarcastic comment?
grapefruit: i just ended a five-year relationship.
lemon: oh dude... you okay?
grapefruit: it's okay. it wasn't mine :)
pancake: sorry i couldn't join today! stress is bad for the baby
roll cake, confused: what??? baby???
pancake: me. i'm the baby.
pistachio: what kind of woman doesn't have an axe?
pomegranate: how did you find me, brother?
black licorice: oh, it was easy. i just listened for the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed it.
plum: i'm not getting into any more stupid arguments with you.
peach: earth isn't a planet
plum, slamming his fist into the table: HOW THE FUCK IS EARTH NOT A PLANET
sea fairy: hey moon, do you have a bag?
moonlight: the only bags i have are the ones under my eyes, caused by the complete and utter lack of sleep.
sea fairy: you could have just said no
computer: please input a password
strawberry: types "strawberry"
computer: your password is insecure
strawberry, tearing up: ...i know...
peach: plum, i think i'm lactose intolerant
plum: what? we're cookies, how can we be lactose intolerant?
peach: well you see, i are some chocolate and threw up.
plum: hOLY SHIT WHY IS THERE A KNIFE IN YOUR STOMACH IS THAT THE REASON
peach: oh yeah i forgot about that
plum:
peach:
peach: so then, i poured the milk-
*sorry about all these peach and plum ones they're just too fun-
yogurt cream: is this some kind of peasant joke that i'm too rich to understand?
red pepper: why is there blood everywhere?
chili pepper: i may have aggressively poked someone with a knife
red pepper: yOU STABBED SOMEONE???¿?¿¿?
chili pepper: no, AGGRESSIVELY POKED
dragonfruit: sneaking into the legendaries palace at 3 am through the window
fire spirit, sitting at his desk: excuse me young man, wHERE WERE YOU?!
dragonfruit: i- uh- was with sea fairy!
sea fairy, turning on the desk lamp: try again.
dragonfruit, over the phone: dad help i'm sitting in a pool of blood
fire spirit: is it... your blood?
dragonfruit: yeah i think so
fire spirit: w-where is it coming from??
dragonfruit: probably from the stab wound
fire spirit: yOU GOT STABBED??
dragonfruit: yeah well dark enchantress was like "KNIFE to meet you!" and stabbed me!
fire spirit: sHE S T A B B E D YOU????
dragonfruit: nonono, you don't get it! you see, she made a p u n !
*i combined two quotes together are you proud
red pepper: peach help, plum won't come out of his room
peach: just tell him i said anything factually incorrect
later
plum, charging out his room: dID YOU JUST CALL THE SUN A FUCKING PLANET?????
game night, scrabble
lemon: i'll put down "a" to make a word
dino: i'll add to your "a" and make it "at"
dj: i'll add to your "at" and make it "rat"
hero: i'll add to your "rat" and make it "biostratigraphic"
gumball: flips table
rockstar: what if slugs are just homeless snails
carol: rockstar it's 3am
rockstar: i'm worried about the slugs, carol
orange: how are things?
lemon and grapefruit: things are good!
narrator: things were not good.
some cookie: wow alchemist, you're so smart!
alchemist: people call me that a lot
cookie: what, smart?
alchemist: no, alchemist
pink choco: dj i want to be more than friends.
dj: best friends?
pink choco: no, more
dj: ...super best friends?
pink choco:
adventurer: lmao why are you always wearing black? who's funeral are you going to?
blackberry: don't know. haven't decided yet.
adventurer:
plum: i need some help dealing with a super-villain, any suggestions?
peach: gun.
plum: ok other than that-
peach: bigger gun.
orange: what are symptoms of teenage depression?
gumball: why are you asking me?
orange: earlier i was watching lemon do laundry and when he dropped a sock he said "why has god forsaken me"
YOU ARE READING
cookie run shitpost oneshots/headcanons
Fanfictionno more updates! thanks for reading gang kiwi has finally reached the breaking point and died making this book of bullshit cookie run didn't deserve this (suggestive mentions but no direct nsfw so its fine- also there's swearing) (this is a SHITPOST...
