these are just so fun to make i'm sorry-
gotta thank tumblr and instagram for these treasures
flight attendant: please secure all small items.
grapefruit: lime, you good?
lime: fuck you.
moonlight: where's fire spirit?
wind archer, not looking up from his book: probably somewhere disappointing jesus.
peach: hey guys, should i shove 15 giant gummy bears in my mouth at once?
plum: you're a hazard to society.
rebel: and a coward. do 20.
moonlight: darling i can explain-
sea fairy: you're getting paid $500k and only give me $30k?
wind archer: $30k? i only get 1k!
fire spirit: you guys are getting paid?
lemon: stop asking me if i'm a top or a bottom.
lemon: i'm a disappointment.
lemon: loudly drains soda can
gumball: i'm watching planet earth 2, and i didn't watch the first one so i'm completely lost.
gumball: what the fuck is a bird?
moonlight: so, what do you do?
dark enchantress: i'm working on eliminating all cancers.
moonlight: wow, impressive!
dark enchantress: thanks, i'm moving onto virgos next
dark choco: the worst drug to crave is wanting to be loved
whipped cream: i don't know, meth sounds pretty freakin' bad.
grapefruit: it's bad to eat after 7 pm!
lemon, eating cake at 3 am: it's a good thing time is an illusion.
rebel: once i finish 50 ways to mess with your friends in minecraft, it's over for you bitch.
peach: no it isn't. i've already memorized that video. i'm an expert.
carrot: i got a box. we're putting everything we love in here.
wind archer: can i put herb in the box?
carrot: no
cherry blossom: can i put herb in the box?
carrot: NO
sparkling: can i put herb-
carrot: NOBODY IS FUCKING PUTTING HERB IN THE BOX
dj: you're always the bad guy in someone else's story
lemon: i'm the bad guy in MY story
yogurt cream: honestly, i can't be the bad guy in any story! i'm to pure and beautiful!
fire spirit: i apologize for saying fuck earlier.
peppermint, who was placed here by sea fairy and is confused: you just said it again??
fire spirit: i'm not a role model.
plum: don't break people's hearts, they only have one
peach, kicking the door in: BREAK THEIR BONES INSTEAD, THEY'VE GOT PLENTY OF THOSE!
when millennial tree got revived
millie: we're not going to lose. because we have this. points to chest
moonlight: we have heart?
millie: no, because you have me. i am going to win this for you.
peach: he died of natural causes.
plum: you,,, pushed him off the roof
peach: gravity is natural!
lemon: how is my most beautiful friend doing?
orange: wait, are you talking to me-
grapefruit, zooming in: DOING GREAT THANKS
wind archer: fire spirit, i swear to god, if you don't shut the fuck up then i'll shove a 5 inch long pipe up your ass.
fire spirit: make it 6 :)
cyborg: powers down
gingerbrave: oH GOD PUT HER IN R I C E -
*get it? because of those phone drying tutorials
lemon: i've got a joke for you-
gumball: my life?
grapefruit: the government system?
gumball: the education system?
grapefruit: anti-vaxers?
gumball: existence?
lemon:
lemon: it's just a knock knock joke-
dj: party rockers in the house tonight
lemon:
dj:
lemon:
dj: aren't you gonna correct me
lemon: wait those aren't the lyrics????
dj:
lemon: lime be out there like "oh i hate lemon so much, i think he's an asshole"
lemon: like bitch me too, you ain't fuckin special, GET IN LINE
*i found out about kiwibean and it's so cute
kiwi: BRO i had a dream when we kissed
red bean: it's just a dream bro
kiwi: HA! gay i wouldn't kiss you
red bean: you,, wouldn't?
kiwi: well- not unless you wanted to,,,
moonlight: hey, are you single?
sea fairy: no, im plural (?)
moonlight: no like are you free on friday night-
sea fairy: im not cheap any day???
moonlight: do you want to go out.
sea fairy: oh, definitely! why didn't you say so?
another seamoon lmao-
moonlight to sea fairy: oh dear, oh dear, gorgeous.
moonlight to every other legendary: you fucking donkey.
alchemist, as a human: what if our periods were just monthly subscriptions to our body with our blood and we could have just cancelled it at any time and we have been suffer through this shit every month
(from a comic i found)
red pepper: if you wanna fight COME AT ME!
plum: fight me you karate kid lookin ass!
red pepper: AAAAAAAAAAAA
plum: AAAAAAAAAAAA
both leap towards the middle of the dojo
peach, coming out from the entrance: hey guys i made some dumplings if you're tired from training-
plum and red pepper's feet are about to hit her-
to be continued meme
YOU ARE READING
cookie run shitpost oneshots/headcanons
Fanfictionno more updates! thanks for reading gang kiwi has finally reached the breaking point and died making this book of bullshit cookie run didn't deserve this (suggestive mentions but no direct nsfw so its fine- also there's swearing) (this is a SHITPOST...
