Saving Primary Sanders | A Sander Sides Book

XVI - Pandamonium

Well. I'm a week late. Sorry, I had to work on a paper about a delightful little short story aptly titled The Dead. Seriously, why are all writers so depressed?

Anyway, find out if any of the six survive in this week's episode! roll up, roll up!

2201 h

They all fell in to the water.

No, not in the river. In a swimming pool.

It is not strange at all, actually, if I let you know that the ship passing under the bridge right at the moment was a yacht of the city's most notorious billionaire. But it was no ordinary yatch, it was a party yatch (unless all yatches are used for parties, I don't know, I'm not a thousandaire let alone a billionaire). Complete with a swimming pool shaped like a dolphin and a disco dance floor shaped like a flamingo and a fun bouncer shaped like a panda. Luckily for us, our intrepid heroes did not get pancakified on the disco floor or trampolinised on the fun bouncer, they ended up in the swimming pool for maximum comedic effect and plot convenience.

Logan is the first to surface, of course. If the captain goes down with the ship then he is the first to leave the water. All the scantily clad guests, shocked into sudden silence, look at him as if they had an alien in their midst, which is not too far from the truth actually.

A distinguished gentleman in a blue and white cap with white muttonchops and a tremendous beer belly plants himself right in front of Logan with a scowl that outstrips even Logan's most commanding glare.

"Ahoy there! Welcome aboard. Now tell me who the hell you are or I'll blast you to smithereens!" The captain (for he looked like one) points a shotgun, which had a convenient sign hanging off it declaring 'PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRESPASSED' written in sloppy drunken handwriting.

"Um..." says Logan. He cannot possibly say 'Oh we were all thrown off – or jumped in solidarity off – the bridge by two crazy psychopaths who are also our exes and also one of them is one of our's brothers and the other is my ex's brother but it's a long story so...' Instead, he went with the first thing that pops into his mind: "We are the Birds of Gay."

Logan wonders whether to sink down again because saying the first thing that pops in to mind is hardly ever not the most cringy reply.

"Wuh?"

Logan went in for the kill. "We are a skydiving dances."

The rest of them burst out of the from behind him doing jazz hands and singing acapella in tandem. The party guests cheered and our heroes bowed. Except Logan and Virgil because some things simply cannot be.

"What are you doing in MY POOL!" bellows the captain, waving the gun like it was a lasso.

"We ran into some technical difficulties and crash landed into your pool," says Logan hurriedly.

"Where are your parachutes?"

"That was the technical difficulty. We forgot them."

The Birds of Gay look very apologetic indeed.

"Hmph," says the Captain. "Who am I turn down the wackiest party crashes I've ever seen? Out you get!" He pulled Logan out by one arm, making him squeak like an abused door hinge. "This is why I should have listened to that chap from the Dignitary Defence Division."

Logan pricks up his ears. They definitely cannot let him know they were connected to the Division. He swipes off his badge from his coat lapel and pockets it. He quickly looked at Roman who was the only one with the logo on his coat (Since the others never got formally registered, thought Logan with a mental eye roll). He mimed puling off the badge, so naturally Roman obediently pulled off his coat. The crowd gasps, because Roman in a wet white shirt is a treat to the gods. Virgil hid a smile and pulled Roman out of the pool with his tie. Virgil has the presence of mind to realise Thomas might be recognised, so he puts Roman's coat over a very surprised Thomas who was not very happy with the most recent development because the coat smelled of things he dare not think of.