Saving Primary Sanders | A Sander Sides Book

XVII - Dude Quest

You know what? This was probably my favorite chapter to write. probably not the funniest though... I think Chapter three still holds that crown. I'm flexing my muscles writing Thomas and Remy, so pardon me if they seem out of character. This chapter was written in the spirit that more extraneous characters the better! Anyway, have fun reading. Keep your eyes peeled out, there's a clue hidden in plain sight! 

0900 h

Remy throws open Thomas's closet. Literally, I mean, the metaphorical one has been open for some time. Remy cards through his clothes, muttering to himself. "Oh baby girl, these outfits do not scream hot date material... more like friendly nice guy on the street... or man baby who likes too much pizza... or a very pale shellfish in a brown toupee." He pokes his head in. "Gods! This wardrobe goes all the way back to Narnia!" He roots in at the back. "How many clothes do you have in here you never wear?"

"Um... I usually wear whatever's on the floor. Can't I go find a guy wearing what I have on?" asks Thomas.

Remy's head pops out. "Oh honey, those are Pajamas."

"They are not!" Thomas pulls at the maroon hoodie and light grey sweatpants he was wearing.

"Anything held up by strings and patches are only acceptable in the bed, and then if you are not sharing it with everyone. Your ensembles is the dying cry of a couch potatoe. We need some thing vibrant! No, that's not what you need. Logan would squeeze you into a suit but what does that grandpa no about dating! We need something cool and suave! We need you to rock some Captain Jack Harkness realness."

"I think I'm over my head in this."

"Good. We need to find a guy who's head over heels for you before sunset today."

"Can't I just ask a friend? They'd be sure to say yes for an evening of free food!"

"I love you, but I went through their social media, and sorry boo but nope. None of them are camera ready."

"They practically live in front of a camera!"

"That's what we like to think, but they are more au naturale than parfum magnifique. What are our other options?"

"I could try calling my acting friends..." Thomas scratched the nape of his neck. "But I really don't know them very well. I'm a really quiet guy for all my public personas."

"That is something we can exploit!"

"Are you trying to find me a date or sell me off to the highest bidder?"

Remy winked. "Is there a difference?"

Thomas belly flopped onto his bed and smothered his face on his pillow. "I'm never gonna find a guy."

"Have you ever had a steady boyfriend?"

"Yup. But I've been focusing on work lately. It's hard to have a special someone and keep it private when cameras chase me every step I take."

"Well then it's about time you get out again, with someone who does not mind the flash." Remy flashed a wicked grin. "Actually, I'm enjoying this, chica. It's therapeutic to set a friend up on a date after all our crazy ex boyfriend drama."

"I will add this new guy to that list tomorrow too, after how disappointed he's going to be of me today. Yay! My life is so glamorous!"

"Every teen magazine says so, but we know life sucks, don't we?" Remy put his hands out as if he was measuring a photograph.

"Thomas turns his head to the side. "What are you doing?"

"Seriously, with an ass like that, how is the Boulevard not littered with men shooting themselves over you?"