Chapters of Us

dont act like you know

"What the fuck is he doing?"

oh fuck this kid is going to piss me off.

"He is escaping. He is blocking everything out so that I can talk to you without it upsetting him." I glare at him.

"And what the fuck did he just take? Is that a prescription or are you drugging him!?" He glares right back at me. I feel the deep rumble of anger building up and Tae must feel it too because he lifts his hand from his ear and pressed between my eyebrows.

"Wrinkles." He whispers in my ear.

"Im old. They will happen eventually." I take his hand and kiss his fingers before I place it back over his ear.

"I am not drugging him. I would never. I ask him if he wants his doctor prescribed medicine every time there is a panic attack or I have to carry his pills for him. If he didn't want to take them I wouldn't make him."

"Who is his doctor?"

"Why does that matter to you? He has a very good psychiatrist that specializes in cases like Taehyungs."

"It matters to me because it is Taehyung!" He nearly yells.

"And youre still in love with him?"

"We are friends!" He gulps and looks to Taes head resting on my shoulder.

I can feel Tae looking at my face and it is the only thing keeping my even expression. I look over to him and he gives me a weak smile and mouths the numbers so I know where he is.

"I love Taehyung." I don't look away from his face as I reach up to brush his hair from his face. "I love him more than anything and I know this is my fault. I know that he hurts because he was with me."

"So you know youre a sleazy predator!?" he asks mockingly.

I touch Taes face again and make him close him eyes. They only clue to his confusion his the slight pull of his eyebrows. I graze my fingers over them to try to convey not to worry.

"I am not a predator." I growl at him. "I didn't intend to fall in love with Taehyung and when I did I nearly paid the ultimate price. I held him when he overdosed and watch as he was slipping away. That is seared in my brain forever!"

"You were there!?" he yells.

"No!" I boom back. "He text me and asked for help! I was there when he asked me to be."

"You took advantage of him!"

"Do-hyun i am doing my very best to stay calm here. I am a patient man but you are pushing it." I warn him. I am about to fucking snap and i know it would do Taehyung no good.

"Are you serious right now? Do you see this!?" He points at Tae.

"Yes. Something upset him a great deal for this to happen. He probably felt like he couldnt breathe. Like every touch burned to the bone. He felt like he couldnt fix it. So he called me because i can help. I can make it better." My thumb brush the pout on his lips and he kisses it.

"Why you?" He asks in a small voice that makes me look to him.

"Were i a better man i would have never reciprocated his feelings. I would have stayed away and been his teacher. I am weak for him. He says i hold together the pieces that threaten to fall apart now. Before that i was the light in the darkness." I close my eyes and shake my head. "I deserve nothing and he gives me everything. I am irrational and foolish and selfish. But Taehyung stays dispite my many foibles."