Chapters of Us

safe space

Yoongi is saying something as Jimin carefully sits by the foot of my chair. Hobi is pacing, stops as he types on his phone and shakes his head, repeat.

Jeongguk isnt back yet. Its dark now. Or almost dark. Dusk.

My hand seems frail as i reach for my phone and pick it up. One of Jeongguks favorite poets is Atticus and of course the poem i send is by him.

I have seen your darkest nights
And brightest days
And i want you to know
That i will be here
Forever
Loving you
In dusk.

The dots bounce around for a moment and disappear. I let the phone fall to my lap and my eyes begin to leak a steady stream of tears again.

"Tae bae?" Jimin whispers and i look down at his worried face. His fingers laced together, knuckles white from the effort he is putting in not to touch me.

I reach out my hand and he takes it quickly.

"He will come back." He tries to reassure me but it seems hopeless.

My head snaps up when the door opens and i hold my breath.

Jin comes in toeing off his nice boots that are paired with an immaculate looking suit. He was obviously somewhere important. Namjoon follows in an equally fine suit.

"Anything?" He asks hopefully.

"Im fine.. Really.. Just clearing my head.. Blah blah." Hobi sighs.

At least hes responding to someone.

"But no say on where hes clearing his head?" Namjoon asks with a hint of annoyance.

"Nah. Broke his cardinal rules." Yoongi says quietly probably hoping i hadnt heard. Namjoon pulls him to the kitchen and i hear their voices murmuring back and forth.

"WHAT!?" Namjoon says loudly and then hes there.. Staring at me. Jin asks whats wrong putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "How could you?"

"Nam.." Yoongi tries to stop him but he doesnt even get his full name out.

"All hes done. All hes done for you."

"Im sorry." I sniffle pulling my hand from Jimins and wrapping my arms around my legs. Balling up into myself.

"Sorry? Youre sorry?" Namjoon laughs.

"Kim Namjoon!" Jin booms and i flinch.

"He took drugs! He didnt tell Guk and he had sex with him!" I feel their eyes on me and i try to get smaller.

"Tae." I hear the disappointment in Jins voice.

"Would you guys back the fuck off!?" Jimin demands. "Its not the first time hes taken it! Not the first time hes had marathon sex while on it! Its not like he forgot last night! Sure it lowers inhibitions but Tae knew what he was doing!"

"Minie.." Hobi tries to cut in.

"Oh dont give me the see it from his side bullshit! You judgey assholes."

"Park Jimin." Namjoon says angrily.

"All due respect Nam.. Fuck off." He growls.

"Now look here.."

"Dont. I will remove your tongue." Yoongi warns. I peek up and Jin is standing behind Namjoon while Hobi and Yoongi stand in front of me and Jimin. It looks like theyre close to a fight.

All youre fault.

I start rocking in my chair, tugging painfully at my hair.