Chapters of Us

불타오르네 (burning up)

I lick my lips for the millionth time. It tingles. It feels good. So do my fingers and toes and my hair..
My hair feels good.

I am overly aware of the light in the corner and the fluffiness of my pants that i keep rubbing.

"Tae?" I hear as he walks into the apartment and i gulp a little.

Will he be able to tell..
He totally will.
Does he know i've done drugs before!?
I mean he has seen me drink. Why did i never mention this!?

Maybe because you never planned to do it again!?

Shut up one voice is enough for right now!? Oh shit hes staring at me!

"Hey." I smile .. Still rubbing my legs. He tilts his head and looks down the hall and toward the kitchen.

"Wheres Do-hyun?" He asks carrying food toward me. Yeah food sounds good. Water? Did i drink water yet?

"Left... Forever ago." I grab my water in front of me and drink it quickly. Forever ago.. He said drink water. I havent been.

"You alright?"

I nod licking my lips again, watching as he sets the food near me and i stare at the denim of his jeans and how dark they look. His white tshirt that looks so soft under his jacket. So i reach out and touch his shirt.

"Baby?" His fingers brush my hair back and i groan. "Are you alright?"

I lean toward his hand as it cups my cheek and let my lips press to his wrist. His skin is warm and smells good. So i lick it because that's what my brain keeps saying to do.

It keeps saying your tongue feels heavy you need to lick things.. Taste him.

"Bab.."

"I want to lick you all over." I feel needy. My hand keeps running along his shirt. I hear him cough and try to focus on his face but im seriously distracted by how warm his hand feels and wanting him to touch my skin.

"Did something happen?" He kneels next to me putting his other hand on my face and i feel like its sending these waves of energy through my skin.

"I miss you." I sigh when his fingers drag through my hair and my eyes fall closed. "'touch me more."

"Are you sure?" He asks quietly and i nod. I sigh happily when his lips press against mine but its quickly turning frantic.. On my part.

Its not a want anymore. Its a need. I need him to touch me and i need to touch him.

And someone is touching me. Running their fingers along my skin and my breath shutters into his mouth.

"Umm.. Babe?"

"Wha..what?" I swallow around the dry thick feeling in my mouth.

"Listen.. Hold on." He lets go of my face and grabs my wrists.. Ohh it was me touching myself.. Right.

"Why?" I shake my head trying to get close to him. He doesnt understand!!!

"Baby are you sure? I know the doctor said.."

"Thats right!" I nod excitedly. "He said i was ok to resume normal stuff! He said my counts were good!" I pull against him and of course he doesnt budge.

"But.. Youre ok.. With touching?" I can see through my distracted mind that keeps going to the light.. His warm hands on my wrist.. My wrist above my head.. Him on top of me.. Pinning me down.. Hes worried.

"Yes! God yes! Please!"

"Ok.. Ok baby. If youre sure?" He doesnt look sure. Not at all. He looks cautious.