AJ's Poetry Book

A deeper meaning.

The once colorful walls, bleached to white.
The smiles and the colors once held,
vanished like history.
Family that was once whole was torn,
I burned in hell with the guilt, and pain I felt.

Even happiness has a price.

You let your hopes up to fall miserably on to the cold hard rocks.
My Life Goes By lyrics and artist that I do not remember, my pain back as far as I can remember though.
I remember them distinctly "I loved and I loved and I lost you. I loved and I loved and I lost you"

I keep playing back records, like a musical piece,
Breaking my own mind, it feels like I can never speak,
My mind a cage that has trapped me with my own remorse and guilt.
The worst prison guard that I could ever have is me,
Judging what I wear, how I feel, what I do,
And it's always in the cruelest ways too.

My worst enemies were never the bullies or the lies,
Even though you never saw me crying because all you saw was a smile it was my disguise.
I said my worst enemies were never the bullies or the abuse or the lies,
It was me because I always felt like a mistake on the inside.

I always thought of everything would be better without me,
And I guess people would say it was right but others would say I was wrong.

Everything and anything I love always goes,
they always seem to hurts me or I hurt it or them,
It's like a circus on a carousel,
round and around it goes until child doesn't feel that well,

Broken on the inside and it gets worse but others are unfixable.

People can make you smile and happy but that doesn't mean you're not damaged.

Sorry I hurt, sorry I cause pain, sorry when every time I'm around there's no happiness to gain.

I guess the problem was always me...

I̶m̶ S̶o̶r̶r̶y̶,
                 G̶o̶o̶d̶b̶y̶e̶.