AJ's Poetry Book

Im tired.

I'm tired of the beating of my heart thumping faster when I see you;Im tired of the way my stomach has butterflies when I see your smile, even if it's to play nice; I am tired of missing you and everything you gave me.

I'm getting tired of holding on.

Tired of these fucking feelings that you don't seem to care about; Because you are done with yours.

I am so Fucking tired of the arguments with my mother and the constant reminders that we aren't the same and will never be that way.

Just strangers in the halls...

I'm tired of feeling like a wreck and trying so hard to be someone and something I'm not, Im getting tired of having to act and play the part of a perfect daughter; I'm so tired of myself.

I am tired of the sleepless nights, the restless staring into the sky; tired of the constant thoughts of you; tired of myself, not seeming to get anything right; can't be the beautiful one.

I want to be the rose in a room full of lavender.

I want to be the echo in the silent but in reality I'm only the wispers in the crowd,
the others voices, oh how they drown...me out...

I'm getting tired of the stress and the feeling of hiding back tears every second...

I'm so tired that I want to let go..
Holding back tears so I can stay composed...

Breaking down,
I'm so fucking tired of trying,
I feel like on the inside, I'm dying.

Tired of all these lies,
All these fake smiles, and "I'm Fine's"

Why can't I just be happy..?

I'm tired...