Midnight (editing)

14

I close my eyes, and blink again a few times to make sure I'm not hallucinating.

"what the motherfucking hell are you doing in my fuckin room Candice?!" Caleb practically roars beside me, and I flinch away from him. He notices, and mouths I'm sorry to me, before putting his arm around my waist and glaring at Candice. I was too busy looking at Ian.

His languid posture on Caleb's bed told me he did this on purpose. He was just looking at me, then staring at her ass. Then looking at me, and staring at her ass. I look away, telling myself to be stronger, and to hide the fact that my eyes might have been watering.

"hey, I didn't know it was your room. I just came back after 6 months, and this is how you treat me, your sister??" Candice says in that irritatingly sultry voice of hers.

"you're not my sister. we aren't related. we don't have the same parents, we don't have the same DNA, and we don't have the same friends. And unless you want to admit that you're blind, which you clearly seem to be, considering your lack of decent clothing has still not changed, I would very much appreciate it if you and your fuckboy never came in my eyesight again."

I was still staring at Ian. He knew that it would piss me off to see him with her, and that Caleb hates having Candice around. He hates me. I hate me. But I love him. I lost him. He's with Candice. By the Angel- he's with Candice. What the fuck? Of course it's Candice. She is perfectly his type. Blonde. Hot. Narcissistic. I look down at my hair. Maybe I should dye it blonde. Will he see me differently then?

"Zoe- I told you, stop. Don't do this to yourself. Not about him, or anyone else, ever again. No overthinking stuff, okay babe?" I blink and notice that Ian and Candice have left the room, and that Caleb was looking at me, concerned. "What? I'm not overthinking, okay? I just- it kinda hit me, just now, that us-Ian and me- we're done.. we are actually done. That's all. Besides, I don't want him or Candice ruining our fun, so... movie?" I speak rapidly, hoping he doesn't realise I'm lying. 

Caleb just raises an eyebrow at me, and I raise one back, neither one of us breaking eye contact. "Fine. Fine, if you say so." He concedes, blinking and wiping his eyes. At least now, I have an excuse as to why my eyes were watering. "Okay, well, you can pick the movie. I'm gonna go get me some skittles, and a whole lot of sugar to binge eat and get fat on." I reply, and make my way out of the room before he could say more. I grab a tissue from the bathroom on my right, and continue slowly limping down the stairs while staring at the grass lawn from the huge glass windows. 

Oomph. I bump into something and slip, waiting for the imminent fall that is going to probably kill me. Except, an arm reached out to grab me, and steadied me again. I inhale a masculine scent that's so familiar, and I know who it is. Oh, Ian. I miss you. By the Angel, I'm pathetic. Stop it, you will not go weak in his arms. You are a strong woman, who doesn't need stupid Julian Jacob Camaro. 

"You should watch where you're going Ry. You don't wanna fall and get hurt even more. Especially since your precious Caleb won't be around to save you as often as he does now." Julian whispers softly into my ears. Puzzled, I force a cold look on my face, push his arm off me and say, "Do not say a word Julian. Not a fucking word.", as silently as I can with venom dripping off my voice. 

His stunned face broke my heart, but gave me the satisfaction I needed- to see him hurt the way he hurt me. "Julian, we- I can't do this with you anymore. Not when you don't tell me what's wrong. You push me away, to him, but when I go to him you hurt. I know you do. Tell me, please, what's wrong Ian? Tell me Jules.. because if you c-can't, then I need to let you go. I need to know. Do we still have a chance?" I turn to him, gently placing my hand on his cheek and massaging it, the way one might a dog. He bends his head into my hands, bringing my hand to his lips and softly kissing every knuckle. He looks at me, and I know my eyes are glimmering with hope, just waiting. 

His eyes, the green of a fresh new leaf, are full of tenderness- then abruptly he turns away. When he looks back at me, he's standing straight, taller than me now. He won't meet my eyes, but I know, I know, that they are a sharp piercing cold green now. "I-Zoe, uh..." I close my eyes tightly, and take my hand way from his face. I just take a deep breath and slap him across the face, hard. His expressionless face hurt more than anything I had ever experienced. I just pushed him away, and turned around, trying my best to get away from him without falling again. I push my sobs away, but not for long.