Perhaps Tomorrow(miKA reyes and aRA galang Fanfic)

Chapter 15: Terrified

Just a few more hours and the entire archipelago will celebrate Christmas... and here I am in a cemetery. It's been a while since I was here. It may sound pathetic. But on my efforts to convince myself that she really did not leave, I refused to visit her grave.

Yes... I am visiting Kiwi

I look at her grave. Her epitaph reads: With every choice you make, You create your life. It is so her. So very Kiwi.

" Hi there, mite! Merry Christmas! How are you doing up there? Is heaven as beautiful as we've imagined it to be? Gee... I do miss the times we could talk all night. I do remember there were times when the night wasn't enough, the sun would be up and we're still deep in conversation. I do miss talking all those nonsense and laughing at even more nonsense. Everything was easy then... I could tell you anything. You shared your pain, hurts, and dreams and I did the same. Maybe it was wrong to fall for a friend or perhaps just untimely. But somewhere between knowing you and wanting to know you more I found a good friend who always listened and a wonderful person I could never be tired of. Now, that the pauses are longer... and the words are not as flowing, I am comfortable in your silence just as I was in our conversations." God! I so miss her.

"I feel cheated. Sabi mo walang iwanan. Why did you leave me? You did not even let me take care of you. I was not able to show you how much I really love you.", tears started to fall from my eyes.

"We have dreams to fulfill. Di ba sabi mo magiging teammates pa tayo? How come ako na lang ang mag-isang naglalaro? Ang daya mo, Kiwi... and daya daya mo". Ayaw tumigil ng mga luha sa pagpatak sa mga mata ko. It has been a while since I last cried. I have never really cried this hard 'xcept for that time that I was last here. Kiwi has this power to make me vulnerable. I guess she carried that power even to her death.

"So sorry if I have not been visiting your grave. Ang sakit pa kasi. You know, I met a new friend. Her name is Mika Aereen. But I call her Daks. Matangkad din sya katulad mo. Sobrang takaw... laging gutom. She sooo reminds me of you. She is beautiful, funny, kind, maingay at sobrang kulit. If you'd met her, I am pretty sure magkakasundo kayo. She says she can't dance, but she dances a lot. She said she can't sing, pero ang hilig sa videoke. I think I like her, Kiwi", I continued.

[FLASHBACK]

The sun shines through the windows filling the room with its morning glow. The curtain moves like waves in an ocean as the cool breeze gently blows. The light softly touches her face not enough to wake her from her slumber. I watched her sleep throughout the night daring not to move, so as not to wake her. I run my fingers through her hair. I planted soft kisses in her face. Each and every moment spent with this lady beside me fills me with more than just memories.

We stayed up late last night talking... not just about the hospicio gig we had that morning. We talked about everything. She has the power to make me open my soul to her. She makes me feel relax, comfortable, more at peace. I have long accepted that I like her. Love? Perhaps! But am I ready to fall again?

I slowly get out of bed, took a shower and got dressed. I have a scheduled rehersal with ate Kim for our surprise number for out party this evening. I thought of writing her a note telling where I'd be. I changed my mind on the last minute. Baka kasi ususain ako at maunsyame pa yung surprise number namin. Makulit pa naman ito.

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