Trust

Chapter 26- I Froze

Today is the day of the funeral. It is also the day that I get to see Nicholas for the first time. I can't even believe that my mom is really gone, and the last things that I said to her were horrible. Yet now I have to stand in front of all of these people praising my mother when in reality she made the past few years hell for me.

"Hi everyone. First off I would like to say thanks for coming, it really means a lot to see that so many people care. Whether you knew my mother or not, one thing is for sure, she was a very stern woman. But with this side came a soft side. For the majority of my life, my mother focused more on my sister than she did on me. My sister always had the newest things and was basically the perfect child in my mother's eyes. All I ever wanted was for her to look at me once, the way she looked at my sister, or showed that she cared. And once I was almost beaten to death, she did. It sounds morbid, I know, but that was the way things were."

I took a deep breath before continuing. "When my father died, my mother went into a depression faze. She didn't want to see or hear from me because I was there when he passed and she wasn't... I guess you could say it's as if she had a resentment towards me. And with resentment comes anger. The last few things I said to my mother were horrible, and I will regret not getting to say goodbye to her. And it is because of the person who killed her that my baby brother will never get to see his mother either. I plan on telling him nothing but good about her, and I plan on giving him the life that I didn't get to have. My mother will still live on in our hearts, whether it be in word, spirit, or memory. I will make sure that she is never forgotten. Rest easy mom, I love you."

At that moment tears started strolling down my face. I looked over at Claire, who was also tearing up. The police let her out on parole specifically so she could attend the funeral, as long as she is escorted by a cop.

As the service ended, everyone came up and hugged me. I finally went up to Claire, I wasn't allowed to touch her, yet for some reason she pleaded with the guard to let her hug me. "Please, shes my sister! I can't even wipe away my own tears goddamnit. Please give us a moment alone."

I knew Claire. Something is up with her. But what is it?

Eventually the guard let her have a moment with me, I gave her a hug, knowing that she was going to tell me something. "This wasn't part of the plan, I swear. I want them dead for what they did to her." She whispers, I nodded in agreement.

"Thank you for coming sis. We'll definitely talk soon." I said discretely as the guard came back and took her away. Ben came up behind me and scared the crap out of me. "Jesus Ben! Don't do that!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you ready to go see your brother?" He questions, I give him a curious look. "As ready as I'll ever be. You didn't have to stay behind, I could have taken a cab-"

"Nonsense! I want you to know that I'm here for you no matter what. I'll even go in with you if you want." I smiled and gave him a bear hug. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me."

As we drove down to the hospital, my nerves got bigger and bigger. I'm scared out of my mind. I wasn't ready to be a parent a year ago, and I'm not ready to be a parent now, but this time I don't have a choice in the matter.

When we got to the hospital and went into the NICU, we were introduced to baby Nicholas after taking some necessary precautions. I sat there in silence, not knowing what to say, but also admiring the fact that he was so precious. Ben grabbed my hand and started talking to him. "Hi Nicholas, this is your sister Emma."

"Hi Nicholas...It's just you and me now. I promise that I am going to do whatever it takes to give you a good life. I'm going to be there for everything I promise." I reached into the incubator and let him know that I am here. He grabbed my finger, I couldn't help but smile.

"See? He likes you already!" Ben said enthusiastically, I chuckle. "Wow. This is real now." He nods. "Yup, it's real. And everything is going to be okay. We are going to take care of the problems here, and he'll be home in no time."

"I really hope so. I can't imagine bringing him in the middle of all this. What if something happens to him? It will be my fault-"

"Nothing is going to happen to him. Not as long as I am here, I won't let anything happen to either one of you, and I'm sure the others will say the same." He grabbed my free hand, I smiled widely. "Thank you for all of this. You have been so supportive, when normally most guys would run away. I can tell that Sam is even freaked out about this situation but you're so calm. How are you so calm?"

"Because I helped take care of Frankie when she was born. Sam wouldn't know what that's like even though he has two young siblings. After his dad died, Kat took over as a nanny. Then when she got the scholarship to the school in LA, their mom hired a babysitter. He never had to worry about that."

"Wow. Now it kind of makes sense why Amelia needed a babysitter when Sam is old enough to watch them. I couldn't really help out when Christian was born, I was five, and my parents didn't want me to hurt him. I wish he was here, but I'd like to think that he is watching over with my dad in heaven." Tears once again started forming in my eyes. Ben started rubbing my hand with his thumb.

"They are watching over. And I think that they would be very proud to see the strong woman you have become. You have handled this whole situation so well. They should be proud." I sigh. "I am handling this well, however I didn't handle the Kian situation well."

"How so?" He questions, I sigh again. "I've never told anyone this before, but after that whole situation my body just kind of shut down. I went into a dark depression, and I even contemplated suicide. Just the thought of being by a group of boys scared me. My mom signed me up for therapy, and for awhile that worked. But then the trial happened and I relapsed. After a few months my mother realized that I wasn't going to get better in that environment, so we moved back here to my parents hometown. That's why I was so hesitant to talk to you and the guys, and that's especially why I hated Sam in the beginning."

"I'm so honored that you told me-"

"Good news!" The doctor came in with a bright smile on her face, I give her a questioning look. "Nicholas is doing great, he's getting stronger everyday. At this rate, he could be discharged in two weeks."

"That's amazing." Ben said with a smile, I just froze. This means we have less time to solve the Kian issue. As much as I hate to say this... we need Kat.