Fate Called Me A Pussy

Chapter 10

"What do you mean you were the only one left standing?" Matteo raised a panicked eyebrow, stretching in his chair.

A light flickered in the packed waiting room, everyone looking at the culprit light before looking back at their feet or each other. It was the most entertainment they've had all day I bet.

"I was the only one left standing, everyone else had fallen to the ground, injured or-" I gulped, squeezing the arms on my chair briefly. "-or they were dead.

Suddenly, everything had taken a dark twist. Deep in the trenches of the Great War, the ground was stained a crimson red. However, I was the only one that stopped moving. The fighter jets still roared from above, guns and grenades were still being tossed and shot in every direction. I blocked out the noise easily though, as the sound of my heart thumping against my chest was enough to drown out the warfare going on in the background.

"Hey! What did I say about growing a backbone?!" My eyes veered down, where the sergeant, despite being coated in shrapnel, was very much alive and breathing. "How do ya fellows get through training? Giving blow jobs to the fuckin' Corporal?" He cussed, although a smile rested upon his busted lip.

I immediately crawled over to where he was laying, grabbing ahold of his hand. "What do you need me to do?" I asked, feeling pretty lost. It was like trying to find Mateo's mother's vagina in her sea of pubes.

"Okay, that was uncalled for." Matteo interrupted, his salt and pepper hair shaking in disappointment by my cheap shot, but I ignored him and continued telling my story.

"The sergeant rolled his eyes at me, as if I was a ninth grader asking if the percent sign goes before or after the number...

"Kid, I need ya to get yo shit together. The angels are coming." He explained, looking off into the distance.

I looked off into the distance with him, but all I saw was beaten up grass, blood and mud. I glanced back at the sergeant, my apparent superior, confusion slathering my face like grease after eating everything off the McDonald's menu.

Don't judge.

Sometimes one Big Mac isn't enough.

Then, over the horizon, the angels appeared.

No, they didn't have wings, nor were they very hot. In fact, they kinda looked like witches, coated with blood and dirt, carrying duffle bags and huffing like asthmatics. "If those are angels then heaven can take them back." I judged, looking to the sergeant for his grumpy yet respected opinion.

The older man gritted his teeth, pain seizing his body. "No ya fuckin' waste of sperm! Those are the nurses!" He snapped, but not as sharply as he usually does.

Which made sense considering the blaring red crosses on their hats.

Give me a break, I slept through most of my education, which in retrospect was fine because I never have to grow up and use any of that information.

Perks of being dead, I guess.

I glanced back over to the nurses, noticing that one of them was glaring at me with cold, dangerous eyes. She mouthed the words 'I'm going to kill you' so it wasn't hard to figure out who it was.

Charlotte, the biggest thorn in my dick, decided to make a visit to WW1.

The most concerning of all, is how she was staring intently at the queen of diamonds that rested safely in my breast pocket. "Uh, Sergeant, I have to go. That young nurse over there really kinda sorta totally hates my guts." I explained, placing my gun back beside him.

"Oh for the love of Christ, we've all had a one night stand with a nurse, and unless she's knocked up there ain't no reason to run like a little bitch." The sergeant grunted, his voice barely above a whisper.

I looked back at Charlotte, and the blood soaked girl was storming towards me. "First trimester, always the hardest am I right?" I smoothly lied, turning on my heel and just making a sprint down the trench.

"Kid, where did you even suspect to go?" Lionel asked, looking up at the number to see if it has changed at all.

#114 shined brightly on the screen. A small child got up on her tippy toes to see over the desk, a nasty cut on the side of her head and light, blonde hair matted with blood. "That's my number! That's my number! See?! See?!" She excitedly waved it around, showing it to the receptionist.

I swallowed a lump in my throat as she was shown the way to the back door, and answered the old man's question. "Honestly, I had no bloody clue. I just knew that Charlotte wanted to take the card away from me, so I needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

I slipped and tripped through the muddy trenches, my combat boots almost coming off from the sheer stickiness of the soggy ground. Cries and artillery sounded around me, but I knew there was nothing I could do. The war already happened, those who died would have died regardless if I was there or not. I was not to change history, just to return the cards to Fate.

The sounds of muddy steps were sounding from behind, with a quick look over my shoulder I could see Charlotte right on my heels. My heart picked up, blood rushed to my penis and my helmet fell off my head. I couldn't keep running like this forever.

Luckily, I didn't have to for very long.

"Left!"

My ears rang, Fate's voice filling my head.

"What?!" I called out, stumbling a bit from the suddenness of the noise in my head.

"Left!"

I snapped my head to the left, my shoulders slouching a bit as I saw it. A small, blue portal rested just beyond the trench, about a metre into No Man's Land. Colour swirled with in itself like a hypnotizing illusion. I peered around, but nobody seemed to notice the portal. Either they were too busy trying to shove bayonets up each other's dicks or I was the only one who could see it. I could try to run there, but bullets rained across the empty stretch between the two trenches. If I get hit, I could die.

"Is this when you died?" Matteo asked impatiently, his hand back firmly in his pants. An elderly woman sitting next to him got up and decided to stand in the corner rather than sit next to that peeve. I don't really blame her.

"No. If this is where I died, wouldn't I be riddled with bullet holes like a golf ball?" I inquired, running a bruised hand through my sticky hair.

Matteo groaned, but I just continued.

"Where was I? Ah, yes. I turned towards No Man's Land, about to make a run for it when I heard a screech.

I twisted my body, horrified to see that Charlotte had been shot in the shoulder. She gritted her teeth, still stumbling after me. "Are you okay?!" I asked, hollering over the sounds of artillery pounding into the nearby sediment.

"I'll be better when you're dead, you son of a bitch!" She screamed, still slowly staggering towards me. This, was getting a bit pathetic on her end.

I clicked my tongue, placing a hand on my hip. "My dear Charlotte, this is embarrassing." I ducked as more artillery hit the trenches, watching as blood soaked through her white, nurses shirt, revealing a bra underneath, blood trickling down in between her two...

"Hey! Eyes up here you creep!" She snapped, taking one last step towards me before her eyes rolled back and her delicate body hit the ground. She laid face first, cold mud caking her body as she breathed in the dirty trench water. A single ant climbed up her hand, as if testing to see if she was awake before searching her still-warm body for food.

Well, that's one less thing I need to worry about.

I set my sights back on the portal, bracing myself yet again for a mad dash across No Man's Land towards it, when out of nowhere Fate decides to be present inside my head again.

"You... are... the... protagonist..." She cooed, her voice sounding as if she was loosing connection after going into a tunnel. "Save... the... girl..."

I twisted my body back to Charlotte, noticing how she was still drowning in trench mud. "Nah." I shouted towards Fate, if she can even here me, before I clenched my cheeks and made a mad dash for the portal.