♡TordMatt Oneshots♡

Captain Moron - Merman! Tord X Pirate! Matt

I got this cute idea and thought about it for hours, so I'm gonna write it! I didn't find a TordMatt photo for Tord being a merman and Matt being a pirate, so... merman Tord is all you'll see.

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3rd Person POV:

Tord was currently swimming away from a random pirate ship he came across. One of the crew members of the ship spotted him, and now they were trying to shoot him with harpoons. A harpoon came into the water and went past him, only missing his red tail by a few inches. Tord picked his pace up and swam... right into a fishing net.

"God fucking damnit." Tord mumbled, grabbing onto the net. He tried to pull it apart, but it was too thick. He continued pulling on the net until he felt it moving upwards, taking him with it. 'Well, I hope I can smooth-talk my way out of this one...' He was pulled out of the water and the net was dropped onto the deck of a ship.

"Alright, let's see what we got..." Someone said, cutting the net open. The net fell from the person's hands when they saw Tord laying there. "W-what the hell?!" Tord put a hand on his hip and a hand under his head. 'I've never smooth-talked a guy before... shit...'

"I-I bet I can MERtake your virginity?" The man awkwardly glanced at a different man. "Get the captain." The man nodded and scurried off, leaving Tord alone with the guy he attempted to flirt with. "How would you even take my virginity with no dick?" The man asked. Tord blushed and huffed.

"I just said that s-so you would let me go." Tord replied, starting to feel a bit dizzy. "Is there any water around here? If you haven't noticed, I kinda need that." The man rolled his eyes and left for a moment. When he returned, he gave Tord a bucket of water.

"Yeah, thanks." Tord dumped the water on himself, saving a little for the next usage. Finally, a ginger with a purple hat exited a room and walked over to Tord. "Wow! A mermaid!" "Uhm... hi? Also, thanks for misgendering me, I'm a merman. Dumbass." "A rude one too." Tord poured more water on himself.

"Ugh. Can you guys put me back in the water? At least it was entertaining when I was about to become a living kebab." Matt sat down on the deck next to Tord, fascinated by him. "But... I wanna know more about you." "Fine. As long as you get me more water. I'd rather not die here." Matt nodded and looked over at his crew. "More water, please." The crew grabbed the bucket and left them to fill it up. Matt looked back at Tord and scanned him up and down.

"Are you checking me out?" Tord teased. Matt's face reddened and he looked down at Tord's tail. Tord wiggled it and stuck his tongue out. Tord's seductive attitude was dropped when Matt touched his tail. "W-what're you doing?!" "It's just... so pretty..." Tord blushed and slapped Matt's hand away. "I-I'm not pretty! Fuck off!" The crew came back and set a few buckets of water next to Tord. Matt had a minute of realization while Tord put more water on himself.

"I'm so sorry! I don't even know your name!" Tord's face was completely red at this point as he looked down, hiding his face. "It's alright. Call me Tord." "Tord... I like it. Well, I'm the captain of this ship! My name's Matt!" Matt held his hand out to Tord, who lifted his head. He took Matt's hand in his and shook it. "It's been nice chatting with you, but I should get going." Tord said, a bit sad to leave.

"Oh! Uh... right now?" "Yeah..." Matt sighed and nodded, standing up. He bent over and picked Tord up, carrying him bridal-style. Tord clung onto him as Matt carried him to the edge of the boat. "Do I just... throw you?" "Yeah, I'll be fine." Matt gently tossed Tord into the water and Tord swam back up to the surface. Matt smiled to hide how upset he was.

"Well, it was nice to meet you Matt. You're very kind." "It was nice to meet you too, Tord! You're so cool!" Tord blushed a bit and crossed his arms. "Not really..." "Aww, c'mon! Don't have low self-esteem!" Tord chuckled and uncrossed his arms. "Only for you, Matt." He turned away, giving Matt another glance before disappearing into the water. Matt sat down on the deck and rested his head on his knees, watching the ripple of water. "Captain, are you okay?" "...I just hope I can see him again..."

- Time Skip - A few months later -

While Tord was laying around on the water, he saw a pirate ship that looked awfully familiar. He cocked a brow and swam closer to the ship, making sure that he was staying hidden. He didn't want to be chased around at the moment. On the ship, he saw someone with a purple hat on.

'Déjà-vu. Who's that?' The stranger turned around and gazed up at the sky, and Tord realized who it was. It was the man he'd been thinking about ever since he met him. The ginger that became his friend so long ago. "Matt! Matt!" Tord pounded his fist on the side of the ship while shouting, not hitting the ship very hard. Matt seemed to slightly hear Tord's calls, looking around to see who it was. "Matt! Down here!" Matt moved to the edge of the ship and looked to find Tord. "Hi!" Tord greeted, waving.

It took Matt a while to recognize Tord. "Oh! Todd!" "Heh, you were close. It's Tord." "It's been a bit since I last saw you! Want me to bring you up here?" "Yeah!" Matt left for a bit, talking with his crew members before a fishing net was thrown into the water. Tord got into it as it was being pulled up. The net was dropped, more gently this time, onto the deck. The net was cut open and Tord brushed it off.

"Hey bitches! I'm back!" "Oh yeah, the gay merman." "Excuse me, I'm bisexual. If I had an ass, I would tell you to eat it as an insult." Matt went up to Tord and sat down next to him. The crew brought a few buckets of water, placing them down next to Tord.

Matt embraced Tord in a tight hug, grinning. "I thought I'd never see you again!" "Aww, well you were wrong. Idiot." "It's great to know that you haven't changed a bit." "Nope, I'm the same. Your old friend."

Matt still didn't pull away, so Tord blushed and shoved him away. "You're still the same too." Tord commented, pouring water on himself from a bucket. "Oh, it's so nice to see you again!" Matt pulled Tord into another hug and rested his head on Tord's. This time, Tord loosely hugged back, red-faced. "Matt... I missed you..." Matt pulled away from the hug a bit to see Tord's face.

"Really?! Aww!" Tord looked down, feeling shy. "Yeah, I legitimately missed you. It's been far too long." "Me and my crew have been traveling around, getting more gold and treasure." Tord looked around and saw a couple of closed chests. "Wow, good for you." Tord saw a bit of hair sticking out of Matt's square chin. He brought his hand up to it and felt it.

"What'cha doin'?" "You've got some facial hair... cut it off." "Why?" "I liked it better without the hair. Cut it off." Matt giggled. "Are you saying that you like my face?" Tord jerked his hand away from Matt's face and averted his gaze down to the wooden floor. "Y-yeah." Matt put his hand under Tord's chin and lifted his head. "I like yours too, Todd." "Y'know, that would've turned me on if you said my name right."