Athazagoraphobia - Depressed! Tord X Matt

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Requested by: CattyDraws

I already did a Depressed! Matt thingy sooooo here's the Tord one!

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3rd Person POV:

Athazagoraphobia, the fear of being forgotten.

The thought of being forgotten by anyone was scary enough to Tord. Maybe that's why he created the Red Army. Maybe he wanted his own legacy that would never be forgotten, not in thousands of years. If everyone forgot about him, would it even matter that he existed at all? What would the meaning of his life be? The thoughts about it kept coming, and Tord brought his hands into his hair.

'What is my purpose?'

He shook his head, trying to get away from his own mind. He jumped when he heard a knock at his bedroom door.

"Tord! Wanna go to the park?" He heard Matt say. Matt had recently become his best friend, but he would never tell Matt about his fear. Maybe he stayed in Matt's company because he found that Matt was always cheerful and happy, unlike himself.

"No thanks, Matt." He replied, still having a bit of an episode at the moment. "Aww, c'monnn!" Matt whined, making Tord huff. "Please? Tordddd-" "Noooo..." "Yes!" "No!" "I'm coming in then." "...I'll let you in, I'm just not gonna leave." "Whyyyy?" "Shush." Tord stood up and fixed his hair, going to the door. He opened it and looked up at the taller male.

"Hello! Why are your eyes red and slightly puffy?" "Ah, lack of sleep." "...Oh." Matt entered the room and Tord shut the door, not locking it this time. Tord sat on his bed and sighed. "What's wrong, Tordle?" Tord blushed at the weird nickname. "No, I'm fine." "...Were you crying?" "No. I don't cry." "Why not? You should go to a doctor for that." Tord cracked a small smile and laughed, shaking his head.

"You're hilarious. So, how're you doing today?" "Great! I'm as handsome as always~!" Matt took a mirror out from under Tord's bed and looked at himself, grinning. "...I'm not even gonna ask why you stash mirrors under my bed." "Being me has its perks." "Yeah, whatever."

Tord wished that he could tell Matt about his issues, but he didn't want to taint the ginger's image of him. Matt's an airhead anyway, so what would it do if he told him?

"...You're not okay, are you?" Tord realized that he'd been spacing out, and he looked at Matt. "What? No, I'm fine." Tord was strangely great at being an actor, hiding his emotions behind a blank face. Matt tilted his head, unable to figure the norwegian out. "...I'm your best friend... you can tell me..." "No, I'm fine. It doesn't matter." Tord wasn't sure if he was saying that to Matt or himself.

"Tordle..." "Matt..." "Tell me!" "There's nothing to say." Matt crossed his arms and pouted. "I'll watch you while you sleep if you don't tell me." "Creepy, but I can handle it." "C'mon!" "No." Matt tried to see into Tord's mind, but it was impossible. Tord was dense, and he wasn't giving Matt any hints. "Ugh! What is it?!" "Matt, it's nothing. Now, go play with your hair or something."

Matt got his phone out of his overcoat pocket and scrolled through Tord's social media accounts. "What're you doing?" "I'm finding out what's wrong with you." Tord sweat-dropped, knowing that he commonly put 'remember me for this' as the description of his posts. After a few minutes of silence, Matt turned his phone off and looked at Tord. "Todd-" "Tord." "Tell me!" "No."

A few weeks passed, and Matt had been watching Tord like a hawk. He had to figure out why his friend was always so upset, but he just couldn't find any clues. The best he had was how many times Tord talked about wanting to be remembered and how much he liked sandwiches. The second fact wasn't really helpful, but it was all he had. He went over to Tord, who was sitting on the couch.

"I remember you, Tord!" Tord looked at him confusedly, a smile coming onto his face. "Thanks...?" "I've got it! You love being remembered!" "Yeah, I guess...?" Tord questioned how Matt cracked the case, but it seemed like Matt was missing something. It was a fear to be forgotten, not exactly a love for being remembered. Matt had a little victory dance and Tord laughed.

He'd never let Matt know of how much pain he was in. Matt would continue to think that Tord loved being remembered. He'd never tell him, not in a million years. He would never put Matt through that. Tord felt like he wasn't worth caring for. Tord felt like he was never enough.

"Spacing out again, huh?" Matt said, now sitting next to him. "U-uhm, no. I'm just thinking about... hentai." Tord felt like he wouldn't be able to hold his feelings in for much longer. He stood up from the couch and dismissed himself.

"Excuse me, I'll be back." Tord said, going into the bathroom and quickly shutting the door behind himself. Matt felt like something was off, so he followed the other. He would die inside if he listened to Tord take a piss, but he didn't hear anything. He came a bit closer, listening closely. He heard quiet noises, but they were hard to make out. It sounded like... sniffling? He sat down by the door, leaning onto it.

"Faen, why am I even here? I should get over it." He heard Tord say to himself, whispering and muttering. Matt didn't catch what he said after that, but it apparently made Tord cry a bit louder. Not too loud, which meant that Tord was trying to hide it. Matt jumped when he heard running water. He stood up and bolted back to the couch, sitting in a different spot than before.

"Matt? Why're you in my seat?" "Uh... I'm saving it for you!" Matt wasn't a good actor, and it was obvious that something was wrong with him. "...Is everything alright?" "Yeah!" Tord slowly walked over, squinting his eyes at Matt. "...Sure." Tord said, skeptical. He sat down after Matt moved and turned the tele on. They were silent, watching T.V. Matt broke the silence, deciding that there was something terribly wrong with Tord.

"...Tord, are you always sad?" "No, I'm very happy." Tord faked a smile, and it seemed genuine. "Tord, tell me. I want to help you. I'm your best friend." Tord anxiously looked around to make sure that Edd and Tom weren't around.

"I'd never put you through that, Matt. I'm sorry, but... I just can't tell you." "It hurts more that there's something wrong and I can't know about it rather than the fact that you have a problem. We can get through this together, and I'll help as much as I can!" Tord shook his head, his eyes getting glossy.

"I n-need to change my clothes." He stood up, about to leave. Matt gently grabbed his wrist, stopping him. "Don't hide... I'm sorry..." "Matt... let's go to my room."

Tord wiped his eyelids with his sweater sleeve, the pair walking into Tord's room. Tord laid face-down on his bed, crying silently. He didn't know why his emotions were suddenly spilling out after he'd been able to bottle them for years. Maybe it was because he was getting weaker for some reason. He sat up and wiped the tears away again before speaking.

"Matt, I won't tell you what my problems are. I care too much about you to do that. What I can say is, please... never forget about me." "I would never forget about you! You're my best friend!" "I kn-know, but... I still have doubts. Just... help me by never forgetting about me. Never."

♡TordMatt Oneshots♡Where stories live. Discover now