I Need You

Chapter 10

Trigger warning!

I woke the next morning. Jin was sleeping peacefully next to me. The others had fallen asleep on the floor and chair. I smiled. I may be held against my will here, but I have made some good friends here. Maybe being here won't be so bad. I got up and walked to the restroom, I brushed my teeth and washed my face. Then I walked back into the room and saw Namjoon standing there.

"Good morning Namjoon." I say.

"Morning. What time did you go to bed?"

"Well, Yoongi fell asleep first, around eleven. Jimin was next, and then Tae and Bunny fell asleep around two. Jin and I stayed up till around 3 I think."

"No wonder the guys are still asleep."

"Not me." Yoongi grumbled.

"Help me get the rest up. We have a busy day, we have some guests coming soon." Namjoon told Yoongi.

I walked to the bed to wake up Jin.

"Jinnie, wake up. Namjoon said to get up."

"I'm up." he said slowly sitting up.

"Jin slept in bed with you?" Namjoon asked.

"Yes, the guys put on a scary movie and we got scared." I said.

"No other man is suppose to sleep in your bed." Namjoon said angrily.

"Calm down Joon. Our friendship is strictly platonic. I see her as my little sister." Jin said.

Namjoon just shook his head, "Lola, be ready in an hour. We have to start wedding planning."

"Okay."

I started cleaning up the mess we had made last night and fixed my bed. Once that was done, I walked to my closet and found a nice pair of black skinny jeans, a cute pink long sleeved shirt and my black flats. Then I walked to the bathroom to get dressed and fix myself up. I put on some tinted moisturizer, some eyeliner, mascara and some lip gloss. Once I was done I walked to Namjoon's office. There was a lady sitting there in the chair waiting.

"Ah, Lola. Right on time. This is my mother's best friend, Kora. Kora this is my fiancée Lola."

We greeted each other and sat down to start the planning. I let Kora and Namjoon mostly plan it, since I have no interest in the wedding. Namjoon picked the colors, blue and black, had the type of flowers picked out, decided he wants the wedding here. Before I knew it the planning was done. All that was left was dress.

"Lola, I will be here in two days with some dresses for you to choose from." Kora said.

"Okay. That would be lovely. See you in a few days. Thank you."

Kora left and I was about to leave before Namjoon stopped me.

"Look, I know I have been an ass and mean to you. It's just I have never wanted a girl as much as I have wanted you. I was attracted to you the first time I saw you." Namjoon admitted.

"Stop playing Namjoon." I said.

"I'm not paying. I was mean and treated you bad because I didn't understand what I was feeling. After talking to my father, I have finally figured it out. I want you to be mine."

"Seriously Namjoon? You think I'm going to jump in your arms if you say a few nice things to me?"

"No, I just want to tell you how I feel."

"Well I don't believe you. Now if you excuse me, I have to find Jimin and ask him when my father is coming." I say as I walk out the door.

Th whole way back to my room I couldn't stop thinking about what Namjoon has told me. Did he really like me? Or was this a ploy to get me to fall for him? Ugh, why is he so confusing? There was a knock n my door. Jimin popped in the door.

"I heard you were looking for me."

"Yeah, what time is my dad suppose to be here?" I ask.

"He just got here. Come, he is in the living room." Jimin said taking my hand.

I walk with Jimin to the living room, my whole stomach twisted in knots. I was worried about how this was going to go. Would he like me? Would he hate me? Am I too ugly to be his daughter? Will he even want me? My mind was swirling with thoughts and questions. I felt someone shaking me. That knocked me out of my thoughts.

"Lola, are you okay?" Jimin asked.

"What? Oh yeah. I'm fine." I say.

Jimin gently pushed me into the living room. There stood a man that I looked a lot like. He turned and looked at me with a puzzled look on his face.

"You are not Martina." he said.

"No. I'm her daughter, Lola."

"Okay. Why am I meeting you?" he asked.

"Martina told me that you are my father. She said she got pregnant right after your affair with her."

"Wait, why didn't Martina tell me?" he asked.

"I don't know. All I know is I'm not her husbands kid, since I look nothing like him."

"I can't have a daughter. I'm married with sons. This cant be happening." he said.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, "I'm sorry to have bothered you. You can go and continue your life with your family."

"Wait, Lola. I didn't mean it like that. I'm just shocked."

"It's fine. I'm used to not being wanted."

"Lola." he started.

I just ran out of the room straight to my room. I ran to my bathroom and locked the door. I sat there crying so hard. I knew he wouldn't want me as his daughter. I'm just trash. James and Martina were right. No one will ever love me. I was a mistake and I am not needed or wanted. I search for my razor, I fill the tub up with water. I get undressed and sit in the tub crying as I held the razor to my wrists. I want to be free from pain, I thought as I sliced my wrist as deep as I could. I could feel a bigger sting but I continued slicing my other wrist. Soon I laid there just breathing. I could hear the banging on the bathroom door but it was faint. I welcomed the darkness that was coming. Before I completely blacked out, I heard the door bust open.

"Lola!" I heard.

Then darkness.