The Girl Who Cried Rape

Chapter 6: Live or Die?

Chapter 6: Live or Die?

 

9:00am

I awoke to the smell of bacon and pancakes coming from the kitchen. I crawled out of bed, and walked downstairs. Both my parents had already left for church this morning, allowing me to sleep-in. They left me a plate of pancakes and bacon on the counter and a note that read, “We know you snuck out last night, so you will be in trouble when we get home. Enjoy your breakfast.”

That night's events all came flooding back to me and suddenly I wasn’t hungry anymore. Tears streamed down my face, I didn’t want to live anymore. I couldn’t get the images out of my head. I just wanted to go back in time so it never happened. This man had pictures of me naked and I didn’t know what he’d do with them. I didn’t know if they were online for the world to jerk off too. I felt overwhelmed and violated. I just wanted it to stop, to feel in control again.

9:30am

I found myself at an old bridge, standing on the ledge deciding whether to live or die. I contemplated for a while, tears filled my eyes, and my legs were buckling. I didn’t want to die. But I didn’t want to live this life, where everyday is a constant battle. I got a text from Matthew, “Hey baby, what happened last night? I woke up in the hospital and you weren’t there. Is everything alright?” My brain suddenly switched to Matt, he was in the hospital and I needed to see him. He’ll make me feel better. As I carefully turned back around to climb back over the railing, my nightgown tripped me forcing me to fall and belly flop into the water. The force of the water smacking my body knocked me unconscious.

A near by boat pulled me from the water. They called 911, unknowing if I would make it.