✅1️⃣ | Hypnosis Doesn't Work Like That!

144: If You Know the Answers, You Don't Need to Think About It

"Love you," Adi mumbled. Most of her mind was busy trying to think of the right words to say, but she still knew that she meant that as much as she'd ever meant anything. The words didn't come out right, it was still hard to talk, but she knew that Toni knew what she meant.

"Okay, baby. So, do you feel up to being a big girl again, so you can toddle around the lounge, and open all your presents, and see how much fun we can have? Or are you feeling a little overwhelmed? If you prefer you can be a little more babyish to relieve stress. You can have a twenty-minute nap, so that when you come down it will be easier to be a happy little girl. What do you think? Or is that more choice than you want?"

"Please!" Adi tried desperately to find the words. But even when most of the suggestions she'd been given had faded away, she was still finding it hard to say what she meant. She could only look up and hope that Toni could read the fear in her eyes. Surely someone who really loved her would know that she didn't want any of this?

"Please what?" Toni asked, "Play like a good girl, or have a baby nap?"

"Please," Adi squeaked again, finding the words on the tip of her tongue but she just couldn't say them. She tried to remind herself that this wasn't the nightmare it seemed, because Toni was still here with her. She was still scared, and she wanted to put the brakes on this crazy game as quickly as she could. Save the baby stuff for a few quiet hours with the woman she loved.

She had to think, even if her thoughts seemed to be coming more slowly now. Normally when there was a problem, it was Adi's fault in some way. She'd jump to a conclusion, and then refuse to listen to anyone who corrected her, plowing forward with so much confidence that she was right. When they had that kind of confusion, Toni was always the one to set her straight. She'd look Adi straight in the eye, and just say "Babe". A pet name that somehow meant so much more; it told her that she needed to listen to what Toni was saying, and check her assumptions. A simple word, not an argument or a denial, so that she would listen to it no matter how sure she was that she was right. Would the same work when it was Toni making assumptions about what she wanted?

Adi hoped so. Even with the confusion that seemed to have settled in her mind since people started throwing her name around every two minutes, she was sure that she could manage "Please, Babe." And then Toni would actually listen, instead of pretending it was all just a part of the role she was playing.

"Babe," Adi forced herself to speak as clearly as she could, "please."

"Baby?" Toni raised an eyebrow, and she was lifting Adi off the floor again.

"No no no! No! Babe, please!" Adi realised she was babbling. But her speech was indistinct enough that Toni might not even be able to tell if she was saying 'baby' again. It seemed like when she was already acting so much like a baby, there was no easy way to get a message across to her Mommy. But it wouldn't last forever, she was sure of that, and at least Mommy would be here for her.

She was lying in her bed again, with Toni's hands pulling a blanket over her, and that mobile over her head. She looked at it again, and found herself automatically trying to remember which ways the different animal figures would move. But her adult thoughts were a little stronger now she'd been changed, and had some time away from the constant barrage of trigger phrases. If she could avoid staring at the mobile too much, perhaps feigning sleep would give her a little more time to gather her wits before talking to Toni like a big girl.

Adi closed her eyes as soon as she saw Mommy's hand reach for the switch. She'd agreed to be mesmerised by the spiralling animals, but that didn't mean anything if she couldn't see them. The plinking, plonking nursery music from the mobile's inbuilt mp3 player wouldn't be enough on its own to keep her feeling like a little kid, she was sure.

And then she heard a familiar voice under the music, and she knew why it had sounded so familiar during her last nap. A few other realisations jumped to her mind at the same time, and she had to struggle to work out what was the most important thought right now. And she had to not respond to the questions from that recorded voice.

Right now, she promised herself she wouldn't say anything as the voice asked: "To start with, can you tell me your baby name?"

"Ad– Addykins," Adi caught herself before she could reflexively give the wrong answer, but it was a close thing.

She felt Mommy patting her head, and she smiled widely for just a second. She felt so good from just that little contact, and glanced up to see if Mommy was smiling too. She saw a smile, and she saw brightly-coloured plastic animals moving in complex circles. A circle within a circle, like a wheel within a wheel, tracing a pattern that should be simple enough to understand. She could almost imagine where each of the pieces would be a second later. She just needed to focus on the movement, and stop worrying about all the things that didn't matter. She didn't even need to think about her own voice, responding automatically.

"Adelaide. Adelaide. Adelaide..."