✅1️⃣ | Hypnosis Doesn't Work Like That!

178: I Know What I Want

Toni carried on talking while she changed Adi's diaper, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Adi wasn't thinking about it too much, all her attention was on how much she must be blushing, and a vain attempt to keep her hands in front of her face so that Mommy wouldn't be able to see her. She was sitting up with a clean diaper taped around her before she started to think about the day ahead, and what she was going to end up doing today.

She wasn't going to be a big girl, that much was for sure. She'd messed her diaper again, and Toni had decided that was some kind of signal that she wanted to be a baby. She could hold out hope, and tell herself that today would be different because it was Toni who'd made her do it, but she knew deep down that it really wouldn't make any difference. Toni hjad asked if she was going to do it, and she'd said 'yes' without even thinking about what that could mean. She should have used the opportunity to explain that they'd been a little careless with the scope of one of her posthypnotic suggestions, or to explain why she didn't have any control. But in the moment she'd just dismissed all those things as grown-up problems, that she didn't need to think about.

She wondered if today was going to involve any new baby behaviours, to make her current torment even more intense. She was sure it would, because Toni had started telling her something new that she was going to feel. But when she thought back to those words, Adelaide quickly realised that she couldn't remember what Toni had actually said. Was this another one of the games where she wasn't supposed to know what was going on until it happened? But she was sure she'd said already that she didn't like that kind of play.

"Mommy?" she asked, reaching up and waving to get Toni's attention. At least, the word was 'Mommy' in her mind. But what came out of her mouth was a drawn out "Maaa" that set Adi giggling even though she seemed to be the butt of her own joke. She tried again, and couldn't even manage to shape the simplest word.

Toni found it funny anyway. She patted Adi on the head and gave a little chuckle, reassuring words that made Adi feel better right away. Even though, she realised a few seconds later, she didn't know what Toni had said. Adi forced herself to stare at Mommy's lips, ignoring all the other movement that was struggling to grab her attention. She could see them shaping words, and she could hear the sounds. But somewhere in her mind, she couldn't make a connection between those sounds and the words they were supposed to be conveying. Adi tried again to ask what wasd going on, but she found herself just burbling, unable to find the right sounds for the words she wanted to say.

She tried to hear the words in her head, but there was just nothing there. Adi found that she was thinking in images and ideas, but she didn't know the words for any of it. That was kind of scary, but at the same time it was kind of interesting. She could think of things without knowing what they were called, and that made it easier to cope with than it would have been. Her thoughts were still all there, she just couldn't put them into words. She'd have to rely on Toni to guess what she wanted, and to do everything for her. And that thought gave her a thrill, making her feel nervous and safe at the same time. She knew that she could trust Toni to get things right, for the most part. So she decided that until she could talk again, she was going to let herself go along with the ride.

Toni carried her down to the kitchen, and paced back and forth while she waited for breakfast to be ready. There was nobody else here today, but Adelaide didn't know where they might have gone. She didn't know how to ask either, and she could see there was no sense in fighting a futile battle with her own limitations. The only way to win in this situation was to let herself not care, and enjoy the luxury of having someone who loved her tending to every possible need.

After breakfast, Toni put Adi in front of a set of blocks with the letters of the alphabet painted on the sides. She said something that might have been a joke; it sounded to Adi like she was expecting a laugh, even if she couldn't make out the words. Adi tried to look at the letters, and to remember what each of them sounded like. It was a huge challenge, for something that should have been so easy. But she was going to do her best to recover her adult mind, whether she could make any progress or not. Somehow, it turned out to be fun. Even being able to remember the slightest detail felt like a huge achievement, and she was so proud of herself when she thought she might be able to say one of the letters.

It was time for lunch before Adi even realised how much time had passed. She'd been playing with her blocks all morning, it just seemed so easy to get lost in her baby mindset. She tried to tell Toni that she didn't want to be a baby in the afternoon too, but gave up on that when she realised that she couldn't even say a single word.

The afternoon was taken up by playing with dolls and soft toys, while Toni kept one eye on her and provided a steady stream of comforting speech. She couldn't understand what the words meant, but it made her feel better to know that Mommy was there to watch her, and to talk to her.

Adi spent almost the whole day trying to remember how to speak so she could tell Toni she wanted to be a big girl. And every tiny step towards escape made her feel so proud, even if there weren't many of them. And at the same time, every time those thoughts slipped her mind, it was so easy to just get lost in the role and enjoy being a baby. It wasn't a life she would have chosen, and Adelaide knew that she would do everything she could to get her normal life back. But of all the prisons to be trapped in, she could certainly think of worse.