157: I Can Negotiate for the Things I Want

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"Good morning, Adelaide!" Toni sounded half asleep, but still managed to put a cheerful note in her voice. Adelaide was slightly less excited, as she found all her plans for the morning trickling away. Her diaper was swelling and growing warmer too, and she found that just as she'd expected, she couldn't stop the flow even for a second. That name meant Mommy had already decided she was going to be a baby for the day. So there was only one way to start this conversation if she wanted to be a grown-up again.

"Dea... Dio... De de de?" Adelaide tried, but found that as soon as she opened her mouth, she couldn't remember more than the first breath of the word that would set her free.

"Are you okay, baby?" Toni asked, pulling herself free of the excessively pink sheets and coming to put her arms round Adi. A simple hug, and she started feeling better right away. She knew she shouldn't, because she wanted to solve this problem, but when Mommy was holding her everything seemed right in the world. "Do you need something?"

Adi tried to find the words to explain what was wrong. She knew there were perfect words, and she just had to say them and everything would be good again. But the words she could think of were all short and simple, easy to misunderstand. Still, she tried her best.

"Don't wanna..." she pouted, but she knew how much she must look like a sulky child, and it was hard to keep her frown from turning into laughter at the weird image. She pointed down at her diaper, as if anyone could possibly miss the bulk around her waist. "I want to be a big girl."

"It's okay, baby," Mommy cooed, and a little more of Adi's worries faded away. "You don't have to be a big girl today. Let's get you into a clean diaper, and then we can talk about what we're going to do, okay?"

"No!" Adi gasped, running the words she'd just said past her mind's eye again. "Don't need diapers. Big girl day. I'm not gonna –"

This time it was a kiss on the cheek, but it was just as effective at silencing her protests.

"Listen, Babe," Toni spoke slowly, her voice low. "I know this is your fantasy. But if you keep saying you don't want it while I'm doing it, I don't think I could go through with it. I really, really don't want to hurt you, and it breaks my heart when I see you crying. You understand?"

Adi nodded, and gently bit her bottom lip. She didn't want to upset Toni, the one girl who'd done more than anyone to help her. But those words had her smiling inside, as she knew that yesterday's enforced babyhood couldn't last much longer.

"I know," she whispered, not quite managing to think of the big words she needed.

"Good girl. Are you thinking about using the safeword?"

This time Adi shook her head, after just a second to think about it. She couldn't remember the word now, but even if she could she was sure that she'd rather end this game properly. Maybe she could slowly grow up back to her real age, or maybe they could watch cartoons together until her grown-up thoughts actually returned. But if they were on the same page, there was no need for her to go for the nuclear option. They could wind the day up slowly, and then talk about what had happened.

"Good. So if you're comfortable being little, you don't want to make me worry, do you? If you were a baby, you wouldn't keep saying you don't want it. If you were a baby, any time you're not happy with something but it's not enough to make you use the safeword, you'd tell me about the actual issue, not just say you want to grow up, or if you prefer you could cry and let me work out what the problem is. But please, don't do the guilt trip thing when it's something you want. If you were a baby, you might be able to tell me if something specific's making you uncomfortable, but you couldn't tell me you don't want to be a baby anymore. Okay?"

Adi found herself nodding again. She didn't want to be a baby, she still knew that. But she couldn't make her Mommy upset about it either, that just wouldn't be fair. She'd just have to hope that Toni would offer her a chance to be a big girl later in the day. Still, she could see if the words she could use were enough to let her find out what was ahead.

"How long..." she tried. "How little?"

"As long as you want, baby. You just need to let me know without saying it, if you've got a problem with the words. I'm thinking you can be a little girl today, to decompress. If you end up messing your diaper again, then I'll know you want to be a baby, and you can stay a baby awhile longer. And if you want to grow up faster, don't hesitate to say the safeword. Now, let's get that diaper changed before it falls off you?"

Adi looked down and blushed crimson. The diaper was heavy, it was hard to believe she could pee that much, but it wasn't sagging enough to need a joke like that. She thought about what Toni had said, and even though it was embarrassing, she knew she didn't need to panic. A day to decompress, she assumed that was like a diver coming back up from the depths slowly. So she'd been a baby, and she still felt a little confused about what had happened. Maybe Toni thought she should come up slowly, be a kid for a day before she tried being grown up again. One day she could enjoy, especially with Toni looking after her.

"Okay, Adelaide, let's get you in a clean diaper?" Mommy said as she lifted her onto the changing table. All Adi could do was blush, and maybe enjoy the attention a little. It wasn't how she'd have chosen to enjoy the day, but it was only one day and she knew it could have been worse.

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