Our Own Angels

Chapter 15

Silas's POV

Driving back to the house, I can't help but smile. That girl is one of a kind. When I saw her as I walked into the classroom from day one, everything stopped. Time stopped and everything became still. Everything about her is perfect. Her beautiful long black hair against her tan skin, her dark glistening eyes, her freckle just above her left eyebrow that she hates so much, her obnoxious but adorable laugh, her small body sleeping against mine, her soft lips against mine...How did I ever get so lucky? I don't deserve her at all. The first day of classes, I have never met anyone as annoying and pushy as her but I will forever be thanking God for that. It hurt me to ignore her and to stay away but I was doing it for her. But, she just couldn't stay away. I could no longer say no to her anymore. I couldn't keep pretending that I don't think about her every single night before I sleep. When I wake up, the first thing I think about is her. I literally go crazy trying to get her out of my head but it's impossible. It's like when a song gets stuck in your head and you can't stop thinking about it, that is her effect on me. My mind drowns by the thoughts of her.

This is why I everything has to stop. I have let things go out of hand and I know things will spiral out of control. I have to stay strong. This is going to be the hardest thing that I will ever do in my life, and I've been through hell and back. It will probably hurt me much more than it will hurt her. I know it seems like a jackass move but it's for her and her family. I can't keep putting her and her family in danger anymore because of my pleasure. I don't want to hurt her but I have to. I keep telling myself that this is for her safety. If I care about her then I have to do this. When I reach the house, I don't even notice that tears have stained my face. I haven't cried since my dad died. "What's wrong?" Mira asks me. She looks at me through the rear-view mirror and her face falls.

"Nothing, I'm okay." I lie and smile. I'm fine, it's just that I'm pushing away the only person in the life that I have ever loved. Yes, love. My own thoughts scare me. I love Rosalie. Throughout my life, I have only experienced love from one person who is now become a drunk. I try to avoid the concept of love. It never has worked out for me. Everyone that I have ever loved always turned their back on me. Now that I'm pushing the person whom I love away, my heart rips into two. Maybe it's in my head but my chest feels like it's closing in. I just want to explode and just cry. Before anymore tears flow down my face, I get out of the car and Mira and I head back into the house. Mira goes back to playing with her dolls while I clean everything up. Afterwards, I rush to my room and shut the door.

I am so stupid. Before going to that school, I told myself to not get close with anyone. And what did I do? I didn't just get close with someone, I fucking fell in love with them. I had dinner with her family. Her family is going to think that I'm an asshole. I gave her my hoodie, my favorite hoodie. I really thought that I could give her the world. In a perfect world, I would give her everything and do anything for her. I'd swim across every ocean to be by her side, I would be there to make to her smile and laugh and wipe every tear that falls down her face. I would tell her every second of everyday that I love her, hell, I would even give up the last slice of pizza for this girl. But this is not a perfect world. In this cruel, unfair world, I have to give up on her. I will never have a girl like her ever again. In order for her to be happy and safe, I have to be out of her life.

My back slides down against the door and I turn into a pile of mush. There is no holding back. I scream, I cry, I punch, and I pray.

Ro's POV

As I walk in the cafeteria, I search the room for Silas. It's Monday. We haven't talked all weekend and honestly, I feel empty. I find him sitting down eating his food with a book in his hand.

"Hey." I greet him warmly. I wrap my arms around him but he flinches. He doesn't look up. I wave my hand in front of him but he still doesn't acknowledge me. Finally, I touch his hand that's holding a sandwich and he jerks it back. What? He stares at me as if I'm a stranger. He acts the same way from the beginning of the year.