Our Own Angels

Chapter 16

"Honey...I really think that you should try to talk to them. They really miss you." Alice says as she places the dishes in the dishwasher. I sigh and look up at her. I know she's right but I don't want things to be weird. I have a slight feeling that the issue is partly my fault.

"Okay..I'll talk to them tomorrow." I say.

In the morning, I get ready for school and head downstairs. "Good morning Alice." I greet her and she greets me back.

"I don't know what to say..what if they're mad and don't wanna talk?" I ask as I nibble on my breakfast.

"Just be honest. Let them know how you feel and that you understand their decision. I know apologizing can be hard but it will be worth it. Holding a grudge doesn't do anyone any good. It hurts you more than forgiving others. You guys have been best friends since kindergarten. Don't let this little issue ruin that. " Her inspirational talks always find a way to make me feel better. I thank her and leave for school.

In homeroom, I try to find Cleo but she isn't there. The first two periods pass and she still isn't here. That's weird. Matt is here though but I want to talk to them at the same time. As I walk down to lunch she's sitting there with Matt and I let out a sigh of relief. I confidently walk to the table and when they see me approach, they look so shocked. They were talking but as I approached they just stopped and stared. I take my usual seat next to them and place my books down as if everything is normal. From the corner of my eye, I see Silas staring at us. I try my hardest to not look back and it hurts. He knows what I'm about to do and I see him smile a little.

I forget everything that I planned and just say, "Why were you not in homeroom or first and second period?"They both just look at me blankly. I should have said something less outspoken given the fact that we haven't said anything to each other in about two months but my nerves got the best of me.

"I forgot to set my alarm.." Cleo says hesitantly. Typical Cleo, that's not a surprise. The three of us stare at each other back and forth and finally after about two minutes of awkwardness, I pull both of them in for a hug. I hug them both as if they've been gone for ten years. Normally I would cry in moments like these but I have officially run out of tears.

"I'm sorry for not telling you and-" She begins to say but I interrupt her.

"No, I'm sorry." I say. The two of them look at me as if I have two noses. When they don't say anything, I continue. "You two are my best friends. I should have been more understanding but instead I was worried about how it would impact me. I was selfish and I'm sorry." I sigh. They both smile at me and do the same. Alice was right. I feel like a whole new person. It felt good.

"And we're sorry for not telling you beforehand. We're sorry for keeping it a secret from you for so long." Matt says. I nod and smile.

"So are we okay now?" I ask them. They both nod and I'm feeling like the happiest person in the world. I finally got my two best friends back.

"We missed you." Cleo says.

"Me too." I reply. I pretend to look at the lunch line and search for Silas through my peripheral vision. I see him smiling at us and all I want to do is to get up and hug him and tell him the good news. But I know that I can't. He knows it too because I see his face fall. Silas looks extremely tired. Bags have formed under his eyes, his eyes are rimmed with red, and they way he walks is different. He normally walks with an attitude that says "don't go near me, don't talk to me or else I'll cut you". He probably hasn't slept for days. My heart wants me to get up and call for him but my brains has set stones against my feet, leaving me unable to move. Every time I have an urge to say something or to ask why, I always remind myself that it's not my fault. He was the one that ruined whatever we had. Then my sadness and longing is replaced with anger and disgust.