Traces of Elijah

Chapter 17

My new life is beginning at the Clint Wood pack today and I'm absolutely terrified. With a baby on the way and Clint Wood's history of violence along with their associations with rogues, why wouldn't an outsider be scared? Darius terrifies me especially. He has no problem beating me into submission...he always said he would. I need to keep my mouth shut and head low. It's the only way I can protect myself. I then take notice that Brel has been very silent since I've regained consciousness...something is way off. I go to rub my neck since it's so sore and I feel two marks on my neck...there shouldn't be two. If a wolf has been claimed by two different wolves, one mark should disappear but they are both still in my skin. Has no one noticed that this happened? No one has tried to find out why? I suddenly start to feel sick. Darius has been showing me around the pack grounds all day. I remember being here only once as a child. I look around for somewhere I can run to so I can get this out of my system. I see a few bushes and rush over to them, heaving out whatever was in my stomach from the previous days. Tears well up in my eyes and I can't help but to fall to my knees and sob. I hate that I'm here. Everything is so confusing- the missing time, Darius being my mate, me being pregnant. This shouldn't be happening. I should be at home with Elijah. Darius walks over and kneels down, rubbing my back. "I think we've had enough for today. Let's head inside." I try my best to hold back from slapping the shit out of him because I know I would be the one paying for it. I need to protect the baby, they always have to come first. If that means I have to be complacent for the rest of my life, so be it but that child will not be subject to abuse. I won't let it happen. He helps me up and leads me back to our bedroom. I sit on the bed, wiping my face, feeling a mix of emotions. Darius watches me for a few moments before walking over and gently tilting my chin up to look at him.
"You don't need to be so sad...I'm your mate. I'm here." I pull away from his touch.

"Darius...you know how I feel about you..."

"Are you sure about that? When we mated, it was another story." He shoots the remark. I close my eyes, trying so hard to remember what happened but it's useless.

"I still have no memory of that. I don't know why that happened. I'm in love with Elijah and feel nothing for you..." I speak softly, hoping I don't irritate him.

"Now see, that's where you're wrong. You feel something. That mark says so." I go silent for a moment. He could be right but this isn't something I want to feel...it feels forced. My heart is somewhere else. He sits next to me, slowly leaning over to kiss on my neck. He kisses on the mark he gave me, causing an involuntary moan to escape me. "See. I told you." I look away from him.

"You know no wolf can resist their mark...that's not fair..."

"Is it? You were begging me to give it to you."

"That wasn't me..."

"Was it not? The mark is on your skin, my baby is in your womb, your heart is pounding just being next to me-"

"Because I'm afraid of you!" The two of us look into each other's eyes for a moment in silence. You can tell, he can see the fear in my eyes but he doesn't look upset by it.

"You should be afraid of me. I'm your alpha and you should do as I say."

"If you're supposed to be my mate, you shouldn't want to hurt me or your baby..." He takes in a deep breath.

"You know better than to test my patience, Josilus."

"Then you should know better than to think that I will ever trust you as my mate and as the father of my child. Mind you, you assaulted me once already. You can't just hurt me to get what you want from me. I will fight. I may stop 'misbehaving' for a moment to protect my life and my child's life but know this, if I weren't carrying this baby, I would've left you the moment I woke up." These words from my tongue are sharp, stabbing right through that ego of his. I've become fed up with him believing he can just abuse me constantly. I can't live like this. What was I thinking, deciding to remain complacent? I'll want to end my own life under abuse. If he's supposedly my mate he better start acting like one...as much as I despise him. I have to work with what I've got if I can't have what I want for now. Darius sits in silence for a moment.

"Fine. I won't discipline you like that anymore but we need to have an understanding. You belong to me now. Whatever you and Elijah had is no more. You and Elijah may have gone through the whole ceremony but it was my rightful place. He took that from me when it was owed."

"I chose him over you. Why would I choose someone I fear over someone I've been in love with for years?"

"I guess I understand that...it's kinda why I was so mad when you didn't pick me..."

"Can you blame me? You were gonna take advantage of me at my own best friend's party...you threatened me, hurt me...that doesn't seem like love." I shake my head.

"When I saw you after all this time my wolf just...took over. I guess...that shouldn't condone how I acted. You know the story of my father right...? His wolf was aggressive...he would abuse me and my mother and I found out...he did the same to yours. It's hard for me to control my inherited aggression...for you I'll try to be better...we're stuck together now whether you like it or not so we've got to take care of each other better, right?" I can't believe the words I'm hearing right now. Darius trying to be a better person. Has Hell frozen over?

"You truly mean that?"

"I do...part of me did what I did just to piss off Elijah. I've...always been jealous of him. I wanted what he had. As territorial as we alphas are, I was looking for a fight that night...it was stupid. My jealousy really got the better of me, along with my wolf. I...I'm sorry." This seriously has to be a dream...he's apologizing. I sigh.

"Thank you for the apology. It doesn't condone what you did but If we're really gonna do this, it's gonna take time to trust you. I'm insane for even being willing to try this but I honestly don't have a choice now. We're in this together whether I like it or not...on that note, can I ask something of you?"

"Yeah, sure. What is it?"

"My memory from when we...you know, is gone. I don't remember any of it, Brel isn't talking to me and I want to remember. Will you help me?"

"Of course, I want you to remember it too...it was the best night of my life." I'm surprised by that statement.

"The best night of your life and I don't remember a thing of it..." he cups my cheek, making me flinch a little but I try to relax.

"We'll figure it out. From now on I'll take care of you."

"There's one more thing I need."

"Yeah? What's that?" He raises a brow.

"I need you to help me find my mother."