Traces of Elijah

Chapter 18

Darius stares at me like I've suddenly grown a second head.

"Josi...your mom died when you were born, there are files-"

"Files on her death, I know," I cut him off, "someone gave me a reason to believe I should go digging around for her but I was just a boy then. Now, I'm my own person...kind of...I need to find her. I don't think she's really dead." He continues to stare at me in silence.

"You know how crazy you sound, right?"

"Yes, I sound insane. I thought it was insane when I first heard about it but, I have to know the truth...if my mother is still alive, I want to know...and I need to know if my father has been lying to me this whole time..." I look down at my lap.

"If your father was lying, I'm sure he would have a good reason. I know your father though...he's been around me my whole life. He talked about your mother genuinely. He didn't trust me at all but I don't believe he is acting about your mother's passing although it's...my father's fault. I can see that you may have a lot of anger inside you over that. I really should know better than to feed into my own anger...true alphas like myself are...more aggressive in ways we shouldn't be...territoriality, demanding obedience, respect...it feels like a necessity. I don't expect you to sympathize with me...I've caused you pain. I sound like a fool apologizing for this...I can control it- I have to...I worship you, Josilus."

"Worship? That's...a little intense..."

"Ah I...it's the wolf talking a little...having you as a mate has been my goal since we were children. I pushed you around back then cause I liked you...stupid logic, huh?"

"Idiotic but...I see the pattern. You've gone to extremes recently because you wanted me to yourself...I don't mean this offensively but...have you considered there may be something...off with you mentally? Like...possibly a compulsive disorder...? Your dad may have had it too considering what happened with my mother...and...maybe knowing for sure will help you control your actions better so you don't really obsess and hurt those around you." He sits in silence for a minute. He looks as if he's trying not to be angry at what I said.

"You could be right...I'll...ask the doctor tonight. I don't wanna believe that I'm...crazy..."

"You're not crazy...just a little obsessive and compulsive- giving into your thoughts a lot but normal humans go through it too. You can treat it. You can be better and it really makes me happy that you want to change...you really terrify me. I don't want to feel like that if we have no choice but to be mated right now." He huffs.

"You still want Elijah..."

"Of course I do...I've always been in love with him...I always will be. We have a bond and you can't get rid of it. I'm sorry."

"I just hate it. Why can't you love me? Why?" He looks frustrated but trying to relax.

"You know the answer to that. Anyway, I'm gonna take a bath and get into bed." I stand up but only to have my arm grabbed by him.

"Let me come with you..."

"Darius, I said I need time to trust you. With that being said, I don't trust you. So I need my space and you need to respect it." He frowns, letting me go.

"Fine...I'll be meeting with my beta. Text me when you're about to get into bed."

"As you wish." I sigh, watching him as he heads out of the room and downstairs. I take the opportunity to grab my phone and rush into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Darius gave me a new phone when we got here. Thankfully, I memorized Elijah's number and start dialing. I turn on the water so it's difficult for anyone near to listen. It starts ringing and ringing. "Pick up dammit..." I mumble to myself. Just then. I hear the sound of the phone clicking and then silence. He knows it's me. "Elijah?" I whisper.

"You shouldn't have called me..."

"You're my mate, how could I not?"

"We only imprinted, it's not the same..."

"Like hell its not, your mark is still on my neck a month after I mated with Darius. That means something," I snap at him, trembling as I'm still so angry and hurt by what happened.

"But you're there with him, not here with me. It was never meant to be you and me...you know that..."

"I don't believe that. Your mark is still on my neck for a reason...as much as you want to deny that we should be together, I know I will be in your arms again...I know something is in the way of your mark disappearing from my skin. I'm going to find out what it is. It could be me being biased but I think it's because you are the superior Alpha and Darius knows it...you can fight for me Elijah. I know you can, you've done it before. Hell, you've kicked Darius' ass for me before. You can fight for me again."

"I can't...it's against my orders because if I do...the baby will be killed and Darius will start a war with the Rogues as allies...that was the deal I made to keep you and the baby out of harms way so as much as I want to fight, I'd be putting your child's life and lives within the pack at risk...I can't do that. They have wolves watching the pack so I can't go to you...Darius made sure of it. If I go anywhere near you, they'll be signaled to kill your sister and father first, then your best friend, the children and then they'll integrate the adults into the pack and if I'm captured, he will kill the baby and lastly, kill me right in front of you...making you watch...I couldn't do that to you Josi...I love you so much but you need to forget about me...for your own sake and the sake of your home and it's people...this is goodbye, for real this time. Don't call this number again..." with that, he hangs up, leaving me in shambles. I need to escape...I can't stay here...I need to go home..! I start to panic, tears rolling down my cheeks. Everyone is in danger- I need to stop it!

You can't...not unless you want everyone you love to die.

Brel?