Gone // Nct [Book 2 of letters]

three.

silence.

not a single person said a word being in front of sicheng's coffin. they couldn't bring themselves to say goodbye. the only people who did though, were his parents.

between all of them there, it was dead silent. the only thing that could be heard was the sobs escaping from yuta's lips. he didn't know what to do, he has no idea how the fuck anyone's supposed to get through a death.

it's...awful.

the boys wanted to say goodbye but....they just can't. it's more of they don't want to. it's already depressing enough that they have to be there in the first place.

why did sicheng do it?

what caused sicheng so much pain that it drove him to ending his life?

why....why is he putting everyone through so much pain?

no one knows and maybe, maybe they'll never know.

to show respect to not only sicheng's parents, but to him himself, one by one the members said their goodbyes.

first up, taeyong.

"i d-don't even know how to say goodbye. i don't wanna say it but i know i have to in order for me to continue on with life. i miss you so much. all the times we spent together laughing and making memories will always stay with me.....and so will you. i'm so sorry for never noticing your pain, as your friend i-i feel like i failed. i hope you find peace and can smile with the other angels up in heaven. sicheng, i love you."

it wasn't even a long speech but after the first words slipped through, everyone once again, just sat there and sobbed.

"goodbye friend." taeyong quietly whispered, gently placing his palm on top of sicheng's coffin.

you would think everyone would just want to say their goodbyes and go home to drown in grief but not them. they lost someone so fucking close that all they wanted to do was feel like family again.

sadly, that's not how life works.

next up, doyoung.

the boy was in pretty bad shape, tear-stained cheeks, shaky hands, red face, & he was shaking, almost as if he were terrified.

walking over, doyoung immediately broke down. not knowing what to say or what to do, he just stood there, staring with no emotion by sicheng's coffin.

just by the sight of the boy no one dared said anything. they wanted to but they knew that you can't just tell someone to get over something this tragic and unfortunate.

finally, doyoung slowly sighed "sicheng, i just want you to know what you did, was fucking stupid. i can't believe you would do something so selfish, you're not only hurting me-" he couldn't finish, the boy was so hurt and angry towards the other but....he's gone and there's nothing he can do about it except accepting the fact that there will never be happiness within him.

not without sicheng at least..

before walking back to his seat, he kissed the tip of his fingers placing them on top of the coffin. it's a sign the two made up.

*flashback*

"doyoung give it to me!" sicheng giggled, trying to grab the coffee the older was holding up.

currently the two were out on a coffee run before heading back to practice. they only had 30 minutes to do so but thank goodness the cafe was close.

seeing sicheng laugh or smile made doyoung feel like he was doing good at taking care of him, even though they act like asses towards one another they always look out for each other.

before sicheng could get ahold of the cup, doyoung yelled, "catch me if you can shorty!" before running out of the shop.

"oh my god just wait until i find you!" sicheng yelled back, before sprinting after the other.

luckily there was a park not too far away with not many people so that's where doyoung ran, obviously with sicheng not too far behind.

as the younger got closer, doyoung ran faster.

"so clos-" sicheng started whispering, not realizing there's a tree stump until he tripped, slightly rolling his ankle.

he didn't wanna seem weak in front of the older so he tried standing up but as soon as he did, he lost balance hurting his ankle even more.

doyoung noticed that he wasn't being chased anymore so he stopped to catch his breath before walking back.

as the older was walking, he heard sniffling come from behind a tree.

sicheng.

"sich- oh my god are you okay?" doyoung asked, staring at the younger's swollen ankle.

you can tell he was embarrassed because he looked away biting his lip, "y-yeah it's just probably sprained." he nervously responded.

doyoung knew sicheng never liked to feel weak in front of others so he knew he had to make him feel not scared so, that's what he did.

"sicheng look at me" he spoke, sitting in front of the boy.

slowly but surely, sicheng looked at doyoung waiting for whatever was about to be said.

"listen, you don't have to feel scared or nervous about not being able to open up to anyone, especially me. you're not weak just because you're dealing with problems, it's fucking life. everything happens for a reason. you didn't have to hide from me after falling, you could have yelled my name and i would of looked for you in a millisecond. i don't like seeing you hurt even if it is just a swollen ankle, got it?" doyoung didn't expect an answer right away but instead, he felt the younger's fingers on the side of his cheek.

"since i can't actually kiss your cheek because we're  only friends, i kissed two of my fingers to indicate that i love and will never forget you." the younger explained, removing his fingers from the others forehead.

"let's make that our sign." doyoung softly said.

before sicheng could respond, doyoung did the same thing but on the other cheek.

"our sign?"

"always."

*flashback over*

"i'll never forget you." 

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hi all🥰
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hope you all liked this chapter jskdkd
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sorry being ia i have major writers block so expect a little delay
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the next chapter will be a continuation with the members saying their goodbyes but i won't make it so dramatic with certain ones, it'll be more quick
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okie bye uwu<3