Smoke Song

Paranoia

He was startled awake at midnight by the ringtone of Soomin's phone, loud and piercing. He sat up in bed, massaging his sore neck, and picked it up, frowning. The battery was almost dead. It would be useless to him soon. He checked the clock and swallowed hard, then got up, grabbing his only other pair of clothes. They were training sweats, but they were all he had, loose and sloppy as they looked on him. He yanked his shoes on and shoved the phone in his pocket, planning to drop it in a garbage can on the way to work.

It began to ring again the moment he hit the street, and as he pulled it out, growling in frustration, someone bumped into him, headed the other way. Startled, he stumbled and dropped the phone, stepping on the screen. The stranger didn't stop walking, but Jungkook stared after him, chest heaving, unable to escape the sudden feeling of foreboding.

He had been working at Mingyu's cafe for three days. Mingyu was kind, allowing him to come in as early as he woke up and even offering him a place to stay once his hotel 'rent' was over. Jungkook wanted to drag it out as long as possible--he knew he could find places to sleep until his paycheck came up and he could at least pay them something.

But he hated the feeling that Soomin was going to find him before he could do that, before he could get the money to become a different person. He sighed, tugging at his bangs, and tucked them behind his ear, tossing the broken phone in the next trash can he came across.

What if someone found him?

What if Soomin tracked the phone?

What if he had to go back?

What if he had to fight?

By the time he reached the cafe he knew something was wrong, and so did Mingyu. The air felt thick and hot as the man guided him to the back and had him sit down on the tile floor, pressing a hand to his chest. Jungkook struggled to breathe, staring wide-eyed at Mingyu and Wonwoo as he attempted to say something, anything that would help them understand. Wonwoo frowned, staring at his mouth, but Mingyu seemed more focused on the shaking in Jungkook's hands and the lack of air coming in and out of his mouth and nose.

"Jungkook, you need to breathe," he said. "Look at me. Can you follow me? Focus here. Breathe with me."

Jungkook's eyes flicked to Mingyu's, and he took a deep breath, closing his eyes and forcing himself to stay still as Wonwoo counted slowly for the two of them. It took ages and ages for the calm to return, and even then, Jungkook still felt shaky and weak as Wonwoo left and returned with a notebook, gently pressing it into his hands.

Mingyu caught his fearful look and gripped his shoulder firmly, shaking his head. "We don't need an explanation now. We can help you with or without one. But I need to know your triggers."

Jungkook took a deep breath, biting his lip, and reached for the pen.