Smoke Song

Safety

He woke on a large bed, swathed in white sheets with a thick pillow beneath his head. The room was empty except for two dressers and a large brown desk, and dozens of pillows had been scattered around to fill the space. Evening light filtered in through thin white curtains, creating orange and red shapes on the bed.

Jungkook sat up slowly, groaning as his head spun. The closet beside the bed had mirrors on the doors, and in the half-dark he saw his puffy eyes and mussed hair. He closed his eyes, pulling his knees up to his chest and pressing a hand to his forehead.

Where was he?

His head pounded, and he could only assume he was dehydrated. When the door opened he didn't look up, busy taking deep breaths and trying to make sense of the events before he fell asleep. Soomin. He had run into Soomin. And then--

He flinched, jolting back in surprise as someone touched his shoulder. Scrambling back, he nearly fell off the bed, but an arm wrapped gently around his waist, holding him carefully and pulling him away from the edge.

"Mingyu said to come check on you," Taehyung said. "Are you thirsty?"

Jungkook nodded hesitantly, quickly pulling away from Taehyung and sitting against the headboard as the elder reached for the water bottle he had set on the side dresser.

"Take it slow," Taehyung said as Jungkook began to tense, "You've had a big scare. Think you can breathe for me?"

Jungkook began to shake his head, then nodded, sucking in a deep breath.

"Good job," Taehyung said gently, "One more time?"

Jungkook took another deep breath, and this time, hesitantly, he reached out, taking hold of both of Taehyung's hands. Taehyung held them firmly, watching Jungkook with eyes that were so much warmer than they should have been, after everything that had happened. They sat there for too little time, just breathing and holding hands, before Jungkook looked up and mouthed "Why?"

"Why?" Taehyung said, massaging the backs of Jungkook's hands with his thumbs. "Do you mean this?"

Jungkook nodded, taking a deep breath. "I thought you hated me."

"I could never hate you," Taehyung said.

"But Yoongi-hyung--"

"That wasn't your fault," Taehyung said firmly. "After the way I saw Soomin treat you-- he would have shot hyung no matter what was happening. It's not your fault."

Jungkook struggled for a few tense moments, then mouthed, "I wanted him to kill me."

Taehyung's grip tightened on Jungkook's hands, but he made no response.

"Soomin made me hurt all those people. If I didn't do it, he would be worse. He said I would be safe--" Jungkook couldn't continue.

"Kook," Taehyung said softly, letting go of one of his hands and pressing the water bottle into it. "I'm so sorry. I can't promise you any safety here, but... I want to help."

Jungkook flinched in surprise when Taehyung rested a hand on his shoulder, where he'd been shot. Taehyung kept his touch light, rubbing gently, then tracing the line of his shoulders up to his hair.

"Do you want to talk again?"

Jungkook looked down at his hands and nodded. He was sick of mouthing the words, relying on others to translate what he was saying. He didn't want to sing, to fight, but he wanted his words back.

Music could come later.

"Mingyu asked his hyung to come over," Taehyung said. "He thinks you might feel better trying to practice with us, while you work at the cafe, rather than just continuing to fight out there."

"What about Soomin?"

"I don't know," Taehyung said. "I'll have to talk to everyone else. We'll figure something out."

Jungkook sighed, shivering slightly, and Taehyung shifted, pulling one of the sheets up and wrapping it around his shoulders.

"I'll do my best," Taehyung said. "I can't promise you anything else."

"I love you," Jungkook mouthed, squeezing his eyes shut.

"I love you too," Taehyung said softly, squeezing his hands. "Drink some water, alright? I'll be right here."