Smoke Song

Roped In

"This could be amazing!" Soomin said. "Don't you see? Even your vocalizations are way more powerful than my songs! We could blow them away!"

Jungkook stared at the tests and symbols on the screen, sighing softly. He felt dull, distant. Soomin was hugging him, jumping around like an excited child. Jungkook didn't know why-- moments before he'd been crying, yelling something about the council requiring a vocal test, and no one ever getting out, and... a child? Jungkook wasn't sure. But the excitement on his face was anything but fake, and it scared Jungkook.

How could someone change emotions so quickly?

"Well?" Soomin said. "Does this mean I can take you out on missions? Please? Please?"

Jungkook nodded, not moving as Soomin kissed his cheek. He felt nothing. That nothingness was a luxury, a shield against all the hurt he knew he would have to face someday. But he didn't want to leave it. He just wanted to be numb, forever and ever, until he forgot he'd ever loved anything.

But at least this way he would be able to sing.

Even if it meant pushing everyone even farther away.

"Jungkook?"

Jungkook turned, looking down the hall to Jimin, who sighed, hurrying to catch up.

"I heard you went on a mission. How'd it go?"

Jungkook shrugged. He knew Jimin was asking so he could report back to their band. The truth was, he didn't know if they'd been successful. All they'd done was thrash a few base camps. No one died, no one was really hurt-- except maybe one of the agents, who'd watched them go with her eyes wide, clutching a wound on her shoulder. Jungkook frowned at the memory and continued walking, ignoring Jimin.

"The others are saying you and Soomin make a great team," Jimin said, hurrying to fall in step with him. "That you fight really well with him."

Jungkook fought to keep his face straight, but his mouth twisted. He hated fighting. He hated hurting others. Despite spending hours in the antis' gym, he had no intention to go around punching people, if he could avoid it. It made him feel sick, and he spent enough time suppressing his emotions to know that indulging in anything might make him break.

It was better not to think about it.

"I was just wondering... would you like to train with me?"

Jungkook turned, startled, looking him in the eyes. Jimin met him head on, arms crossed, feet planted.

"I was supposed to be a healer back there," he said, "It's hard for me to fight, and I need someone who knows what they're doing."

Jungkook gave him an appraising look. He knew what Jimin was really doing. He was looking for excuses for the two of them to be alone together, just like always. He wanted more information, and if he could show everyone how Jungkook fought it would be all the better. There was no genuine desire for improvement there.

But Jungkook nodded. Defeat would be a good excuse to hang back. Maybe, if he riled them up enough, they would end him once and for all, free him from the pain that wrapped tighter around him every day, numbing him to the world outside his head.

I don't want to sing anymore.

I don't want a voice anymore.

There's no use in living anymore.

Jimin smiled, patting his shoulder. "Great. Meet me in the training room every night?"

Jungkook shrugged.

"Sounds like a plan," Jimin said.

Jungkook nodded, crossing his arms.

I'll be free soon.