Reality vs Imagination

Its Tyler's Turn

       I decided that it was finally time to take Tyler to buy his Halloween costume.   Its the least I could do given all the stuff the poor guy has been through and hell, I'm probably going to get a costume for myself while I'm at it. What to get what to get? I stationed my car and asked Tyler once more what he wanted to be and he replied "Pirate! I wanna be a pirate, Sissy!"

      I sighed and unhooked Tyler from his car seat. Oh boy. Once we were inside I automatically searched for the kid section. I don't want him to start freaking out because of all the props. "Sissy! I changed my mind! I want to be a rock star!"

      Well I guess it wont hurt to let him be what he wants. So I guess he's gonna be a rock star. I skimmed around in search of the costume but didn't find a single one. Well I guess I'm going to have to improvise.

"Bubba, what do you think I should be for Halloween?" I asked him.

"You should be a girl rock star!" He said with twinkles in his eyes.

      Well its settled, I'm going to be a girl rock star. I'd rather not buy anything from this stupid store because the prices are hella high. Time to hit the thrift store.

*****

"Sissy! This jacket is too big!"

"Alright come out so that I can see it!" I shouted from the other side of the door.

      The dressing room door slowly opened and out came a very short wanna be rock star. He is so adorable.

"I'll be able to sew that up for you because that ties the whole costume together nicely." I said to him as I inspected him.

"I want spiky hair! And you should have spiky hair too! Can Peter dress up like a rock star too?" Tyler babbled on.

       I stopped listening to what he was saying right after he mentioned Peter. I don't want to think about him because I am still unsure about how I feel about.  I want to put him off as long as I can.

"Your son is too cute!" Said an elder lady. I snapped back to reality and simply smiled. I didn't want to correct her. People mistake him for my son all the time even though I look really young which wouldn't make any sense. I simply forced a smile. 

"Alright, go back in there and change so that we can go pay for this." I told Tyler as I began to put back the items we were no longer going to need.

       Sometimes I feel like I need to give Tyler more of my attention to make up for the one he's missing out from Mom and Dad. It just not fair for him. He is just so innocent and has the greatest heart.  I really am happy that I have him because I don't think I would be able to push on like I have been without him. Once Tyler exited the dressing room I helped with some of the stuff and brought it to the counter. 

     As the cashier was ringing us up I was fishing for my wallet in my purse in search for my debit card.  Dad put 600 dollars in my account that was to be used for whatever I wanted. Wow.  Talk about spoiled.  

"Your total is 50 dollars and 15 cents." I stopped and looked at her.  At a thrift store its that much?  Wow, I'm not buying anything from here anymore I feel like it should have been way less especially since it was only a few things. I swiped my card and left anyways. 

     Once Tyler and I were settled in the car I looked back at him only to find him with his face scrunched up and hands planted on his head. I didn't even have to ask I already knew he had a headache so I quickly searched for his medicine and a water bottle for him to take. 

"Here." I said while handing him two pills given from the hospital.  "Give it a few minutes for it to kick in, okay?"  I say in hopes to comfort him. 

"I wanna go home!"  Tyler shouted.  "I miss my bed and Hope."

      I didn't need anymore convincing.  Home it is.  I began to drive home when I spot a red Subaru in my rear view mirror.  Great.  Hopefully he doesn't recognize my car and just drives away.  Then at a stop light the red car pulls up next to me.  I dared to look over and noticed that it wasn't even Peter.  I don't know if I was relieved or disappointed.  I pushed the thought aside and continued to drive until I got home. 

      To my surprise there Peter was, parked in my drive way with a bouquet of flowers.  My stomach fluttered and I didn't even know what to do or what to say so I'm just going to wing it and pray for the best.  

      Once I was parked I simply went straight for the trunk while Tyler ran out of the car and embraced Peter in a hug.  "We're gonna be rock stars for Halloween!" He shouted.  With bags in hand I walked over to Peter and greeted him dryly. 

"Hey, I miss you.  Why have you been avoiding me?  Did I do something wrong?" He asked sincerely at the same time he offered me the flowers.   They were beautiful, red roses and yellow sunflowers. I took the flowers and just sighed.

"I just need a little more time to figure out what I want and what to do." I say as I slowly walk towards the door.  

"I'm sorry if I'm rushing you.  I just feel a strong connection towards you and I admire you so much for being able to juggle so many things in your life and still manage to prevail."  He said softly.  By then we had made our into the house, Tyler was in the back yard playing with Hope and it was just me and Peter in the living room. 

"Peter." I paused.  "Just a little more time.  I still want to fully watch Tyler because of the whole concussion and give him the attention he deserves.  I can't express the amount guilt I feel for leaving him with my aunt.  We barely know her and its just scary.  Please."  I choked at the last part while my throat began to feel thick with emotion. I felt the tears stain the back of my eyes.  

       Peter embraced me in a hug and whispered, "Take all the time you need, I'm here for you.  Let me know if you ever need anything."

       I thanked him and planted a kiss on his cheek and walked him out.