Kora Kaghaz

Khamoshi

Khamoshi. Khamoshi main bhi ab kuch khamoshi ki kami si ho gayi hai. Jaisay sunatay bhi ab kuch keh rahay hain. Tareeki main jaisay aik roshni ki kiran dikh jayay, waisay naheen. Waisay naheen, balkay bheerh main bhi insaan tanha sa ho, kuch waisay.

Jaisay mano jo sama khamoosh hona chahiyeh, woh ab naheen raha. Aur iss ehsaas say dil ko rahut naheen mil rahi ab. Dil toh baytaab hai khamoshi kay lautnay ko. Per khamoshi main ab khamoshi he naheen rahi.

Sunatay main bhi iss qadar shor hai, kay kaanoun main awaaz toh koi bhi naheen aa rahi per phir bhi shor bahut sunai day raha hai. Na janay kab say aisa honay laga. Per ab lugta hai kai arsa ho gaya khamoshi ko mehsoos kiyay.

Kuch youn maan lo jaisay zehun nay kaanoun say sunni hoi her awaaz ko qaid kar liya ho. Jaisay kisi ki her kahi baat ko mehfooz kar kay aik konay main chuppa liya ho. Kab aur kaisay aisa hua maloom naheen. Per jab aas paas ki bheerh kum ho jati hai, jab lugta hai kay ab irdgird sunata teharnay wala hai, tab hi dimaagh kay qaidkhanoun say sab azaad honay lugta hai, aur khud ki azaadi un sab main qaid.

Jaisay sab kay jatay he shor kum naheen badal sa jata hai. Faruq hai toh bus ab meri khud ki khamoshi ka. Sab kay shor main meray moun say bhi kuch toh awaaz nikal he jaati thee, aur sab uss say koi myni nikaal laytay thay. Ab iss khamoshi main jo shor hai, uss main ya toh meri awaaz dub si jaati hai, ya nikalti he naheen. Aur agar nikal bhi jayay toh ab uss say myni naheen nikaal sakta koi. Kyun kay laboun say nikalnay wali awaazain ab alfaaz naheen, sisakna bun kay nikalti hain. Aur uss khamoshi main bassay shor main ab aur izaafa ho gaya hai. Sab ki un awaazoun main, un alfaazoun nay, jinhoun nay meray dil-o-damaagh aur kaanoun main ghar kar liya hai, ab aik shor aur hai. Mera shor. Mera jawab ka shor. Aur yeh uss sunatay ko bilkul tehusnehus kar kay rakh dayta hai. Kyun kay khamoshi main busnay wala shor jo mujhay sunai dayta tha, woh toh farzi tha, per mera jawaabi shor farzi naheen.

Mera khamosh sama ab puri tarhaan tabah ho raha hai. Aur iss shor ki khabar ab sirf mujhay naheen balkay doosroun ko bhi ho rahi hai. Aur yeh sab ab mujh ko gawara naheen. Khayalaat, ehsasaat aur yeh shor, sab meray zehun ki dunya say ab bahir aa rahay hain yeh mujh ko gawara naheen. Kyun kay jo shor mujh ko sunai day raha tha, uss say sirf meri zaat he hil si jaati thee, meri nighahain irggird dhornay lugti theen. Per ab jis shor ki wajah na chahtay huay bhi loag meri zaat ki taruf mutwajah ho rahay hain.

Mujhay toh woh khamoshi bahut azeez hai, mujhay lautana hai ussay per ab itnay shor main dimaagh kuch samajh naheen suk raha kay kya karay. Per mujhay woh khamoshi wapis chahiyeh. Mujhay meri khamoshi wapis chahiyeh. Ab ya toh main khud ki awaazoun ko haathoun say daba loun, ya zehun main busnay wali awaazoun ko bhula doun. Un awaazoun say azaadi hasil karna iss qadar asaan toh naheen. So ab khud kay haathoun ko he istimaal main lana parhay ga. Ya toh meri khamoshi ka ilaaj un awaazoun ko qaid karnay ki koshish karna hai, ya mustakil tor peh meri her awaaz ko khamosh kar dayna hai. Aik, aik raasta aur bhi hai, iss sab shor ko jhail kar aagay bharhtay jana. Ab tak toh uss ko apnanay ki he koshish ho rahi hai. Waqtun fawaqtun haath phir say istimaal main aa jatay hain, per phir himmut baandh aagay barhnay ka raasta dikhta hai aur sab thora sa asaan ho jata hai. Bus ab yeh himmut baqi reh jayay toh sab theek, warna haath  toh ab dil-o-dimaagh ki na sun kar mustaqil tor peh sab khamosh kar he saktay hain. Per abhi naheen. Khamoshi main khamoshi laut janay ki ab bhi kuch toh umeed baqi hai, kuch toh dil ki tamanah baqi hai, kuch umeed ki kiran ka asur kuch soch ka kehlo, per khamoshi kay lautnay kay liyay meri koshish ab bhi baqi hai. Per kab tak? Mujh ko bhi maloom naheen.