Blissfully Unaware

Chapter Twenty

Sawyer

I can’t tell him who it is. I’ve already told him too much. If Luke found out, he’d be devastated and blame himself. I can’t do that to him. Besides, I doubt Luke would believe me with them being best friends. I’ve been able to avoid seeing the douche bag for the past two years, but with Luke being home I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to keep it up. Especially with him showing up to Brian Adler’s party last month..

    It’s been a few weeks since the fall formal and Beau hasn’t pushed me further on the who. Actually he’s been very supportive. He even takes me to my appointments with Dr.Ryker. He’s been so patient with me with everything. I know I don’t deserve him, but my feelings for him have been growing with each passing day. He’s kind and generous. I wish I could show him how much I appreciate him and all that he has done for me. I wish I could give myself to him.

    “Hey there beautiful, can I walk you to class?” Beau gives me his megawatt smile.

    “I’d like that babe.”

    “Are you still up for our date tomorrow?”

Beau is taking me hiking up Casper Mountain. Living in Wyoming has its perks. Living in Casper Wyoming is even better. Never too far from an adventure. Even though I’ve lived here my entire life, I’ve never been to Casper Mountain. I’m pretty excited to get out and explore, more excited to be doing it with Beau.

    “Hiking sounds fun, and since I still am in decent shape it should be a blast!” I beam at Beau.

    “I still can’t believe you’ve never hiked before. We live in Wyoming for Christ sakes. But, I am glad I have the honor of being your first hiking partner.”

    “Are you sure you can handle taking me. You are talking to the girl who trips going up the stairs. I said I was in shape, not coordinated.” Beau and I chuckle. Damn he’s so handsome.

    “I’ll be there to catch you, we will make it to our destination even if I have to carry you all the way there Babes.”

    “So are you offering piggyback rides also?” I ask jokingly,

    “If that’s what it takes Ms.Thompson.” He winks at me and plants a kiss on my lips.

    Beau walked me to my class, gave me another peck before leaving. I could only half listen in class. I was too busy thinking about being alone on a mountain with Beau. Seems like that night would be the perfect time to try sex again. Dr.Ryker said I have been making a lot of progress. Telling Beau about my assault opened an old wound that had not healed properly. Confiding in him has started the healing process again, this time I am determined to do it right. I’ve told Dr.Ryker what I wanted to do with Beau on this outing. He thinks it’s possible that I am ready but to be wary. Not to push myself for more than what I am truly ready for.

    The way Beau makes me feel, I know he’s the one I want to be my first. I know the feelings bubbling inside of me, waiting to burst out. They’re far more than like. But, I’m not sure if that’s where he is. The thought of him not reciprocating the feelings, makes my stomach turn. I have to tell him, especially before we take that next step. I need to know where we stand. Now I’m nervous for tomorrow. I could become a woman, or leave broken hearted.

I’m in love…

I’m in love with Beau Owen Whitmore.