Insanity

Team 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"So, where is Kakashi-sensei?" asked Sakura.

"He's probably going to show up late. As usual." Naruto replied.

That piqued Sakura's curiosity. "You know him?"

He gave her a weird look. "He was my father's student. Remember?"

"Oh yeah. Right."

"Yo." Kakashi had finally appeared.

"YOU'RE LATE!"

"Relax. Its time for your test."

Sakura was confused. "Test? But sensei, we already took a test to become genin."

Naruto decided to speak up. "That was to weed out the weak. To see who had the potential to become a ninja."

Kakashi pulled out two bells tied to string. "Your test is get one of these bells."

"But sensei, there are only two bells."

"Yes there are. That's the test. If you can't get a bell, then you will go back to the academy. Now come at me with the intent to kill."

"B-But won't you get hurt?"

"Don't worry. I'm a jounin for a reason. Now...begin!"

Naruto muttered to himself. "The intent to kill huh? I already wanted to kill you. Ever since that night."

Naruto used Kyuubi's power and rushed for Kakashi. Surprised, he ducked. But unfortunately for him, Kyuubi's chakra burned his hair off down the middle.

"My precious hair! Do you know how hard it was to get it to look like this?!"

Naruto snatched the bells off him.

"I have the bells now."

Kakashi sat up straight, looking at Naruto. "So what are you going to do with them?"

"I'll give them to Sakura and Sasuke because we're a team!"

"I see."

[2 Minutes Later]

"Why am I tied to a tree, you weirdo!"

"You failed. Don't feed him any food or you both fail." He disappeared in a guts of leaves.

"So...wanna share?"

"Ha! Hell no, you baka!"

"I said, 'Wanna share?'"

"S-Sure of course!"

"Thank you!"

"YOU FED HIM, WHEN I SAID NOT TO! YOU ALL pass. Congrats Team 7!"

"Yes!/Oh yeah!/Hn."

"Well bye. I have books to read." He let out a perverted giggle before he ran off.

"Naruto why did you give us the bells when you could of kept them for yourself."

"I'd like to know as well."

"Because a team sticks together no matter what!"

'I almost threw up saying that.'

'How long do you plan on fooling them?'

'Until they have no further use.'

"Hn. Just don't get in my way." He walked away.

"Yea! What he said." She ran off to follow him.

"Dumbasses."

[Next Morning]

{Bald Scarecrow in position. Damn it, Naruto.}

{Bubblegum in position. I hate you, Naruto.}

{Emo Princess in position. Naruto I will kill you.}

{Maelstrom in position. What's with the hostility?}

{Go!}

{All this for a damn cat?!}

MEOW!

{Emo Princess is down! I repeat, Emo Princess is down!}

{Bubblegum and Maelstrom try and corner it! Go!}

{Yes sensei!}

Naruto lagged a bit to make sure that Sakura was the first person to be seen by the cat. When the cat turned around it leaped at Sakura's face.

"Ahhh! Someone help me! My face; my beautiful face!"

Naruto, with the animal cage in his hand, smashed it on Sakura's face trying to catch the cat. He missed and it backfliped onto his face. Then, it took a shit.

"Ewwww! It pooped!" Sakura yelled in disgust.

Naruto grabbed the cat with one hand and used his other to wipe off the cat's feces.

"That's it. You're dead." He started to choke it before Kakashi snatched it from his hands.

"Relax Naruto. The red bow on its right ear confirms that this cat is Tora. Let's bring it to the Hokage."

On the way to the Hokage Tower, Naruto muttered to himself, but Sakura overheard. "The cat will die. One way or another."

"Naruto are you serious? It's just a cat."

"A cat that shouldn't have shit on me." In that moment Sakura felt scared of Naruto.

"Well you kind of deserve it for smashing my face with the animal cage! What was that for?!"

"I felt justified after taking so much abuse from you. Oh look, we've arrived." He walked ahead making sure to give the cat a glare.

They walked into the Hokage's office and saw both The Third and Madam Shijimi, the Fire Lord's wife.

"Madam Shijimi? We have found you cat, Tora."

"Oh my Tora-chan!" She grabbed it out of his hands, smothering the poor cat with her love. Making Team Seven almost feel sorry for it. Keyword: almost.

'Now's my chance. Influence!'

The Fire Lord's wife gained a glossy red tint in her eyes, signaling Naruto's influence over her.

"Madam Shijimi, I know why Tora keeps on running away from you."

The Third Hokage smiled pleased that Naruto was about to do something good. Even the cat looked at Naruto gratefully.

"Its because you aren't squeezing hard enough. If you squeeze it with all your love the it'll stay with you forever. It'll never leave your side."

Tora gained a look of absolute horror, trying even harder to escape her grip, and quickly regretted using his face a kitty litter box.

"Oh really." Madam Shijimi looked down on Tora smiling gently as she choked the life out of her cat.

"Wow! She stopped struggling. It's amazing! Thank you so much." She left the office happily.

The Third Hokage sat horrified at what just took place. "Naruto...what have you done?"

"I'm sure I did the right thing. She's happy isn't she. I made sure that the cat would never run away. Ever. Well, I have to go home now. See ya later!" Ans with that, Naruto exited the office on his merry way.

Sakura's thoughts were not as happy.

'If he's willing to kill a cat for pooping on him, what is he going do to me for punching him in the face everday?'

"Uhh. That's enough for today. See you tomorrow." Both Sasuke and Sakura hurried out, while the Sandaime and Kakashi thought the same thing.

'We're in trouble.'