Is our love strong enough?

Open your eyes!

Thoughts have possessed Sanem’s mind. She is thinking about where to go, what do to next. Will she stay in Turkey or leave abroad?

Well for the time being, she was really opened to the idea. Once she would settle down somewhere, she will contact her family as she knows that they must be worried to death about her. But she couldn’t think about others now. For the first time in her life, she would take care of herself even if that means hurting people she loves the most.

There was a thought that crossed her mind though. She doesn’t even have a passport how is she supposed to travel outside the country without it?

“Ah Sanem, you need to be more confident and independent” she said to herself.

“I’ll go first and order a passport so I can go wherever it takes me.”

In this moment her inner voice made a reappearance and asked her
“Do you want to find a job first or do you want to concentrate and continue on your novel?”

“Ahh you! I can’t really say I missed you but welcome back. At least I am not completely alone...You’re right though. I need to find a job, but not right now. I could travel, find some new flowers and fragrances and start creating perfume samples.”

“No Sanem. You have promised yourself you would never create a perfume again.” said her inner voice.

"But this wouldn’t be the scent. This one I never want to create again. I could create four different samples, each one for one season of the year. Two with a lighter and two with a bit stronger fragrance. I do have some of my samples with me and I could go to some companies and leave some samples for them. Besides that, I can write some short stories and publish them or even take part in different writing contests. Maybe that way I can make a living for myself. I don’t need so much anyway.”
Sanem finally smiled and felt a warm feeling taking over her body.

“I think I finally found some light at the end of the tunnel. You know, I always wanted to travel north. See the northern lights and experience different cultures. Maybe I could go to Norway and see the aurora borealis?”

Her voice was quiet for once and actually thought about what Sanem just proposed. “You know, I thought you were lost and complete out of place but your plan sounds actually pretty good. Go for it, I’m excited what we will find on our way. You and me.”

“Tamam. I will go and give away my samples with a small note containing my contact information where they can reach me if they are interested. Afterwards I need to go and order a passport if we want to go to Norway. OMG! I’m actually getting excited just thinking about it. I cannot believe that I will really go through with this. I mean we. Am I going crazy talking to myself like this? Keep it together Sanem when you go out into civilization.”

She gave away her samples and hoped that she would get a reply. Any kind of reply would be good at this point really. She didn’t had too high expectations but she would hope st least. Everything went quick and without any problems at the police station, she ordered an express passport which would be ready in 24 hours. She thought this way she cannot go back and regret her decision.
When the lady at the counter asked which address they should send the passport to, she replied that she will personally come and get it the other day. She wasn’t able to book a flight without the passport and its identification number. 24 hours were left before she can start her new life.

It was still early to be heading back to the house and she was getting hungry. She was crawing for a fish sandwich. To be specific, the one that she ate with Can a few weeks back.

"Well I cannot hide and not go to the places I have been with him even though it hurts like hell."

Looking into the depth of the sea, she ate the fish sandwich with tears in her eyes as flashback of her and Can were flooding through her head.

On the other side of Istanbul, Can parked the car a bit further away from the parking lot. Just in case.
He was worried if Sanem spots the car she would run right away. He prayed to Allah that he would find her here.
While approaching the house, he saw that the small bird houses which they put out together, contained food.

“This means she has been here!” he couldn’t hide the hope he was feeling inside of him “Please be here my love”.

He opened the front door very carefully and called her name out loud.
“Sanem, are you here?” as he approached the big room where they have been standing just a few weeks back, he saw a familiar backpack and some things that belonged to Sanem. He couldn’t hide his smile anymore. She has been here. She run away and came here. She isn’t gone yet.

How can I approach her once she comes back? How can I get her to talk to me? More questions were running through his head but he would first text Mevkibe that he found her belongings here and that he would wait until she comes back.

“Now I just need to wait here until she arrives.” He doesn't remember the last time he felt this nervous.

After a few hours of walking by the shore and going down the memory lane, she decided to head back before it got dark. While she was getting out of the taxi she felt this strange familiar feeling. Something is off.

Heading to the house, she couldn’t cut off the feeling that Can is somewhere close. She felt like this every time he was around, somewhere close by. “You are crazy Sanem, he isn’t here. He probably went already to the Balkans with her.” Just saying these words out loud made her teary again. She couldn’t shake this feeling off, something is not right here.
“He chose her over me. Try not to think about them Sanem.”

She approached the living room that contained her belongings and as she was reaching for her bag, two very familiar hands touched her waste from behind. She was about to scream when she felt the heat inside her. It was as electric current was flowing inside her. Her whole body was shaking. “This can’t be…no it is impossible. This is not real.”

She didn’t had the strength to turn around. To turn around and face him. How did he find her? What is he doing here? She closed her eyes so tight and hold them closed as he turned her to face him.

“Sanem, baby it’s me. Open your eyes.”