You Finally Noticed

XXXII. The most painful goodbye

If I would be given a chance, to tell everything that's in my mind, I'd tell it all to the girl lying lifelessly in front of my eyes.

I still have alot of things to say to her. I still have alot of plans for us to do. I still have a dream....a dream to grow old with her.

But, seeing her like this, makes me think if we can still do all our dreams together.

The hardest part of my day is to only stare at her between a glass that's separating us.

I want to do something to wake her up but all I could do is to stand all day and watch her fall in a deep and long slumber, unsure if she would still wake up or not.

I dont know how long will I wait to see her open her eyes again. It's just been a day but it seems like forever.

Staring at her while she's fighting over her life, watching how they connect unknown wires on her body, listening to a beeping sound of the apparatus, wishing to see any tiny movement she might make, are pure tortures for me.

Those things were slowly killing me.

Every second that'll pass counts.

I can still recall clearly what the doctor said. Every word that he said was still fresh on my memory.

"The patient must have been dead on arrival. She came here last minute, and it makes us rescuing her more risky. We dont know the possibility if she'll die or live. You might take it shallow that drowning can end a life but that's a very serious matter. The patient has taken alot amount of water that went up on her brain. It makes everything malfunction on her body parts. It affects her thinking, conciousness, and vitality. Right now, she's on a critical stage of coma. I'm afraid to say this but, once a patient undergo a coma, there's no assurance that she can survive. Hopefully, she'll gain conciousness but I can't guarantee that it will came sooner. You'll have to wait and pray for her to live."

Aside from those words, all I could remember is the tears that's falling unstoppably in my eyes.

"Oppa," I heard Jin's voice from behind.

I didn't acknowledge her presence. This is not the best time to talk to her, not now, when Mina is suffering because of her.

"Oppa, I'm so sorry." I heard her sniff.

"Leave me alone." I said.

"I'm sorry. I swear it was an accident..." She said then she cling on my arms.

I turned to face her.

"Accident? Jin, how can it be an accident when there's only the two of you there? Who else would do that to her huh?" I asked as I shake her hands off from me.

"I didn't know that she can't swim. I pushed her but I didn't intended to drown her. Believe me, I tried to save her but the lake was deeper than I thought. I cant make it also." She explained.

"Stop it! I dont want to hear anything from you...so go now!" I said then I turned my back on her, pissed off.

"No. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...oppa, please forgive me." She said, crying so hard and almost begging.

I closed my eyes, praying to control myself.

"Forgive? Tell me how Jin. How can I forgive someone like you?" I asked her in a low tone.

"I know it's my fault but I only did it because I love you." She said between her sobs.

That pushed me on my last nerve.

"That's bullshit Jin! I dont need your love. How could you do this to Mina huh? Tell me what'll I do if she never wake up anymore! Can you bring back her life huh? ANSWER ME!!!" I exclaimed while shaking violently the both of her shoulders to wake her up in the stupidity she did.