Take Me Away | ✔️

37. EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU

MOM WAS ALWAYS PERFECT. Even though she hated of me thinking that, it was the absolute truth. Everything she did was always for her kids, or for her husband who didn't want anything to do with her when she got sick. Still, she loved him because apparently, she wanted for him to move on so that she knows that when she passes away, there will be someone to love him.

              At least, that's what it was said on the letter.

              Mom opened up first with her favorite word to call me.

              Sweetie,

I hate to start like this, but you know, I will. If you're reading this, I'm dead and you saw this letter while cleaning out my room but decided to opened this at the moment you need me—must be now.

I can't give you advice because I'm not there, I'm sorry, and I miss you every single day.

I've known about your secrets for a while now. You've tried to hide about your monstrous of a past which was Max. I know, okay? I also know that if he's here, you'll be left broken again, maybe more broken than the last time he left you.

Have a brave heart, my dear Sam. I love you, honey. And know, that you shouldn't keep people at a distance anymore. You need to heal with people supporting you. Know that you're not alone. You should know that.

Now, there's something I've been wanting to tell you about your father.

I've asked him a long time ago when I got diagnosed to stop treatment, stop giving medicine even if he didn't want to. The worst of it all, I decided to tell your father to move on while I'm still alive to make sure that when I leave, he'll be okay. He'll have someone with him to get through this tough time.

It doesn't excuse his behavior—what he did to you when you were young. I could never forgive him for that. A mother will never forget but you, you can forgive him because I know that you're better than I am.

You will always be. You've taken care of me, of your brother, of your academics all at once. I will always be thankful but know that you have to take care of yourself, now. Your brother is old as you, he's old enough to take care of himself. No more babying him, okay? I've already said this to him.

You will also get mad at me but I've written to Travis, too. You didn't see it because I had it hidden at the same envelope as your brother's.

I love you.

              Your mama who knows best.

              I didn't know how long I stared at that letter, observing how mom's handwriting seemed rushed, but still incredibly... perfect. There was a lot to process—first, that's the reason why dad was having an affair in the first place, and it had my mom's blessing this whole time? Second, what the hell did mom write to Travis?

              Maybe to take care of me? I could tell that mom did write the same thing to Sean, probably.

              I rolled my eyes, my fingers tracing each letter that's etched on her gravestone. "I don't know what you said to him, mom, but you should know that we broke up. I know you'll probably say something like 'he's such a good guy!' and yes, he is, no matter how much he tries to be an asshole. I regret breaking up with him but he deserves to do better than me. Anyway, I hope you didn't say anything embarrassing."