Scars That Last Forever II

Chapter Thirteen

Sorry I haven't updated in such a long time :(

...

The sun floods in the room and I shoot up in bed. 

Where is Buck?

I look around frantically and don't see him. 

No. 

No. 

My breathing quickens. 

Ignore it, Peter. 

Ignore it. 

He is ok. 

Breathe. 

Bucky is alright. 

But I can't be so sure, I can never be sure. 

My mind floods with worry and I quickly jump out of bed and run down the stairs to try and find him. 

To make sure he is ok. 

The stairs a slippery but I manage to scale them quickly. 

Once I get to the bottom I sigh as I see Bucky and run up to hug him. 

My heart floods with relief. 

"Bucky..." I whisper. 

I feel his arms wrapping around me and he whispers something into my ear. 

"I couldn't find you..." I say. 

"I'm sorry buddy, it's ok," Bucky whispers over and over. After a while, I let go and turn towards the people Bucky was talking to. 

"Steve! Tony!" I exclaim and happily give them hugs. 

"Hey kid," Tony says. 

"Hi," Steve says at the same time. I notice black bags near the entrance. 

"That's your stuff," Tony says and sits down in the chair at the kitchen table. Clint sits next to Laura and Bucky, Steve, and I sit down as well. The kids are not up yet. Tony continues, "The FBI came yesterday, they didn't find anything and they cleared the tower. But... well," Tony glances between Bucky and me, "You have been put on the terrorist list and they aren't dropping the case. They questioned the Avengers and we may or may not have fudged the truth a little." 

Terrorist?

I look over to Bucky and his eyes are glassy. 

"Is there anything we can do about it?" Clint asks from across the table. His eyes are a little glassy as well. 

I move closer to Bucky and lean my head against his shoulder. He runs his hand through my hair to assure me everything will be alright. 

But the thing is, it won't be alright. 

It is not alright. 

My life was finally going good, I was finally happy. 

Well, what I think is happy. 

But then it got ruined. 

Guilt weighs at my heart and tears threaten to fall from my eyes. 

"Peter it will be ok," Steve says, his blue eyes filled with pitty. 

"Stop lying to me! It's not going to be alright! And even if this gets cleared up, I can't go back to school! Everyone is going to know who I am and every awful thing I did to this world. Every single person I killed, everything," 

The tears once threatening to fall cascade down my face. I quickly stand up and run out of the room and out the door. The cool morning air sends chills down my body but I keep running. I walk around for a while before finding a punching bag hanging from a tree in the woods. 

I throw one punch at it and smile, I love the feeling, the anger seems to pour out of me as I punch and kick the back. 

My knuckles start to bleed but I don't care. 

The anger slowly evaporates leaving satisfaction. 

Part of me is scared I like this so much. 

Part of me wonders if this really does mean I am a monster. 

The other part of me doesn't care. 

"Hi, Peter," A voice says from behind me. I turn around quickly, Clint is standing there with a small bag. 

"I figured you find this out here. Isn't it beautiful? I come out here a lot and clear my mind." 

I just stare at Clint. He slowly opens the bag and pulls out some bandages. 

"Give me your hands," He says in a kind voice and slowly wraps the bandage around my bleeding wrists. "Later you can clean them but that will do for now. I brought some Water and food. Do you want any?" Clint hands me the bag. 

"Thank you," I mutter and take the bag, sitting down below the punching bag. Clint smiles slightly. 

"I'll leave you alone now. We are inside if you need anything," 

Slowly I take a sip of the water and take a bite out of the granola bar sitting inside the bag. 

I scarf down the rest of it, just now realizing how hungry I am. 

I want to go back to Bucky, Steve, and Tony, but looking out at the beautiful trees and the innocent wildlife, I just can't. 

I can't bring myself to leave such a peaceful place where nothing seems to matter. 

I smile as the birds chirp above me. I don't have to worry about anything at this very moment, not until tomorrow. 

But tomorrow can wait for some other day to be.

...

But right now there is you and me,

You and meeeeee

-EB