The Middle | ✔️

Chapter 32 (Noah)

Noah

I shouldn't be here.

I thought this would be okay, and it has been. We got through that fucking train wreck of a movie. I actually kinda enjoyed it. Well, no, fuck no, the movie sucked. But I enjoyed Jamie's commentary on it. She's really funny. And she did help me wrap my head around the fucking confusing romantic plot of Pride and Prejudice. So, this night hasn't been a complete bust.

But now, I know I need to leave. But I don't wanna be rude. She's just given me a beer and started John Wick, so I can't just fucking get up and leave right now. I need to sit through this movie. I can't be a jerk. But, god, I really think I need to get away from her.

She's been wrapped up in that blanket all night, which has been ideal, because it's meant her body has been covered up. But when she got up to show me through to the kitchen just now, I couldn't help checking out her...assets. She's unbelievable, and she insists on wearing these low cut vest tops. They make her tits look fucking sensational. It was fine though, I mean, I saw that when she answered the door to me and invited me into her home. But as soon as she covered herself up with the blanket, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was all good. And now? Now, it's a problem. Because she isn't using the blanket anymore. She's sitting next to me, close enough to touch, wearing that. I'm not looking at her, because I can't. If I look at her, my eyes will dart down to her chest, and she'll know exactly what I'm thinking about. So, I'm focusing on the movie. I've seen it before, but I told her I haven't. It's not that long, so I'll be fine.

But, Christ. I want nothing more than to turn around to face her, push her back on the sofa and climb on top of her. Would that be so wrong? Would she be okay with it? Something tells me she would. We have sexual chemistry, she said so herself last weekend. Maybe she'd be up for this.

I left her hanging that night because I didn't wanna mess things up between us before getting together on a regular basis for this English Lit assignment, and she's been so cool with me ever since. I never expected that. She has completely confused me ever since I met her, so maybe, just maybe, hooking up with her would be okay. Maybe she'd be cool afterwards. Maybe we'd be able to be assignment partners and fuck.

I shouldn't be thinking this. And I shouldn't be here. Why do I always thinks with my dick, rather than my fucking head?

In a pathetic moment of weakness, I tear my eyes away from the TV screen and chance a quick sideways glance at her. She's looking down at her knees, and she looks kind of...sad? No, not sad. Disappointed? I don't really know, and before I can stop myself, I find myself making enquiries.

"Everything okay?"

She snaps her attention up to me, I startled her. Which makes sense, given that we've been sitting in total silence for the past fifteen minutes.

"Yeah, I'm good." She doesn't sound entirely convincing, which bugs me, she's usually so up front.

"Are you, though?" Why am I pushing this?

"Yeah, dude." She laughs, but it's forced.

"I don't like you calling me dude." Holy shit, why the fuck did I just say that?

She blinks at me, and I know I've caught her off guard for the first time since we met. I regret what I just said, but I don't take it back, because I'm interested to see how she'll respond.

"Um, why not?" She asks. "I call everyone dude. Even girls."

"I know, it's just so...friendly." I say quietly, because I know I shouldn't be saying that. And I'm aware that I'm leaning into her a little. Our faces are dangerously close now, but she's not making a move to lean back from me. Maybe she really would be cool with a casual thing...

"Well, we're friends, right?" She asks, and I don't miss her gaze lingering on my lips for a couple of seconds.

"I'm not so sure..." I reply, my voice low and thick with lust. Shit.

"So, what are we then?" She asks, looking down at my lips again and leaning in more, closing the space between us.

I shrug my shoulders, because I don't know how to respond to that. I'm staring at her lips too now, and I'm a split second away from pulling her head into me and kissing her. But, she backs away suddenly and sighs. Well, this is awkward.

I sit back and cough, running a hand through my hair, trying to shake off the momentary trance she just put me under. Fuck, how is this girl having such an effect on me? This is not good. I stand up quickly, because fuck being polite and finishing my beer and watching the rest of the movie with her. I gotta get outta here.

"Thanks for this, I'll see you at the Open Mic." I say quickly, not meeting her eyes. My peripheral vision tells me she's nodding her head, but she isn't looking in my direction. Why the hell did this night just get so awkward?

"Sure, I'll see you then." She says, and her voice is small. She isn't moving to get up, so I walk out of the room and into the hallway.

I pause, in case she's gonna follow me to show me out. But she isn't. I already knew she wouldn't, or I thought she wouldn't. When it comes to Jamie, nothing is a sure bet. She's so fucking hard to read, and it's driving me crazy. Just like this undeniable sexual tension between us. Without another thought, I leave her house. Because the only way I can attempt to get a handle on this thing is by distancing myself from her. I need to keep my distance from her. No more cosy movie nights, no more texting, no more friendly banter in English Lit class. No more.