Chapter 66 (Will)

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Will

"Well, buddy. Wish me luck. Tonight is the night."

I burst into Noah's room unannounced, and I'm relieved to see he isn't asleep or jerking himself off or anything like that. I'm a little jumpy, and I wanna talk to him before I head out. Even if he doesn't say much on the subject, which he never does, I'm gonna vent. He's a good listener, mostly because he doesn't bother himself to interrupt me or care about whatever I'm talking about. But it works for me. He's sitting at his desk on his laptop. Homework can wait, this is important.

"You're going over to Maddie's?" He asks, looking up at me from his laptop. He's acting interested, how nice of him.

"Sure am. How do I look?" I raise my arms and look down at my attire. I'm wearing nice jeans and a Hollister polo shirt. A little preppy, but I like this style. I know Maddie does too.

"You look like you usually do." He says, frowning at me. "What are you so worked up about? You know she's crazy about you. It's gonna be fine. You'll have yourself a shiny new girlfriend before the days done."

"I wouldn't be so sure." I tell him with a sigh. "I've put her through a lot over the years, I wouldn't be surprised if she tells me to go fuck myself. She's still not 100% good with me, you know?"

"And why exactly is that?" He asks with a raised eyebrow. He knows damn well.

"You know why. I've been nothing but a jerk to her these past few years, and boy is she making me work for it now." She really fucking is. I know she wants me, but she's been playing so hard to get since we started college. It's one of the things I respect about her the most. She's strong, and she's fierce. She won't melt like butter in my hands. She'll throw the block of butter at my head and tell me to go to hell if I say the wrong thing.

"She has been very hot and cold with you lately." Noah muses. "So, what's your plan?"

I hesitate, because I don't exactly have a plan. How the hell do I tell Madison Hudson that I'm crazy about her, and I wanna date her properly? How do I tell the girl I've been fucking around for almost 5 years that the truth is, I wanna be her boyfriend and forget about every other girl in my life. Why now? She's gonna ask me that for sure. And she deserves an honest answer. But, I'm worried about how she'll react to the truth, because the truth is, I never gave her a real chance before because I was too damn proud.

I cared too much about what other people might think. My parents, my friends, the football team. To everyone, Madison is the dangerous blonde with lilac eyes, who's willing to do whatever it takes to get what she wants. She's the crazy girl that's been obsessed with Will Archibald for years. She's the blonde with the wild attitude, who no one would wanna cross on a bad day. She's not the girl you parade around school with on your arm, because she's so bold and brutal. People would think I was crazy if I dated Madison Hudson. And I've been all too aware of that over the years. Even when I started seeing Jamie Hawkins, another girl who people would talk about. Jamie's not my type, and I knew people would have something to say about me dating her. Subconsciously, I think that's why I went after Jamie in the first place. It's like I was testing the waters to see how people would react to me dating a girl like Jamie Hawkins. If the reaction wasn't too bad, then maybe my dating a girl like Madison Hudson would be okay too. Just maybe. I never got that far of course.

So what's changed now? That's easy. Through all the stupid shit I've done, the lies I've told, the people I've hurt, something good has come out of it. I've learned, and I've grown. I've matured, and I've realised I wanna be a better guy. I wanna stop caring about what people expect from me, and what people think. I made a start with that the day I told my parents I wasn't going to Harvard. NBU was just the tip of the ice berg. I've felt more myself ever since school started, and after making amends with Jamie and trying my hardest to make things right with Maddie, I think I'm finally at a place where I'm ready to open up to her completely, and be honest for what feels like the first time in my life.

Because Maddie is so much more than the wild, bold girl with purple eyes. To me, she's everything. She's bold, because she's confident. She's intimidating, because she's not afraid to stand up for what she believes in and go after what she wants. I admire all the things about her that most people find so off-putting. I'm amazed by her, and I want her to know it. I'm gonna lay fucking everything on the line to Maddie tonight, I can only hope that she still likes me enough to give me a chance. Another chance. The last chance, because this is it. I will never treat her bad again. I won't need any more chances from her after tonight. If she'll have me, of course. God, I hope she will.

"So, can I tell Jamie about this?" Noah asks, and I shake my head.

"No, I wanna talk to Jamie about it myself. Shit went down between her and Madison, she needs to hear this from me."

"Sure." Noah shrugs, and I smile at him.

"Thanks man, I appreciate it." I take a deep breath and look at myself in Noah's wall mirror. "Well, wish me luck."

"Good luck." He says, smirking at me.

"And good luck with Jamie tonight." I say to him, ignoring the frown that immediately hardens across his face. "We both know you're crazy about her, just as much as I'm crazy about Madison. We could both end up with girlfriends tonight. You just need to get over yourself."

"Bye, Will." He turns his attention back to his laptop, like I knew he would. I laugh. Him and Jamie are perfect for each other, if he would just grow up and stop kidding himself, he could get to the place I'm at now. We could both get the girls we want.

I head out of the dorm quickly, taking another deep breath the moment I step outside. Madison and Zoe share a dorm only a few buildings over. I'll be there in minutes. I should feel nervous, but I'm not. I'm ready for this. I'm ready to tell Madison Hudson that I wanna commit to her. This has been a very long time coming, and Christ, I think I love her. But that's too much. One step at a time. Starting with admitting that I wanna be with her, properly, as boyfriend and girlfriend. I walk across the parking lot, totally determined. Nothing could keep me from doing this tonight. Nothing.

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