The Middle | ✔️

Chapter 44 (Noah)

Noah

Jamie, 13:06pm: Sure, any time after 7.

I put my phone back into my pocket and start running back in the direction of the dorms. I went for a run with Stefan and some other guys from the Track Team this morning, then I decided to go for a run on my own after lunch too. It’s just what I do. Maybe it’s an avoidance tactic or something, I don’t know. I just know that it’s a great way of clearing my head and zoning out of things for a while.

When I got back to my dorm early this morning, feeling like shit after going home with some random girl again, I wasn’t expecting to find Will up and about. It was barely 6.30am and he was scrambling around the kitchen making coffee and frying bacon. It was extremely weird, and I just wanted to go to my room and get a couple more hours of sleep before meeting Stefan and the guys.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked him as soon as I got in.

“Making breakfast, what does it look like?” He didn’t even pause to look up from the frying pan at me, much less ask me where the hell I’d been all night.

“Okay… a little early, isn’t it?” I asked him dubiously.

He took a deep breath, moved the frying pan off of the heat, and looked at me at last. It was just then that I realised the shower was running. I could hear it. I turned my attention in the direction of the bathroom, and Will sprang over to the hallway, blocking me from going through.

“Did you leave the shower on?” I asked him, although I already knew the answer.

He looked a little panicked, then he realised he wasn’t gonna get away with whatever he was trying to cover up, and he came clean.

“I didn’t think you’d be back so early.” He said, looking down and rubbing his forehead.

“Will, who are you making breakfast for? Who’s in the shower?” I already knew it was Madison, but my stomach lurched at the thought that it might have been Jamie. Now that I know they’ve slept together once before, and in spite of how much she seems to hate him. You never know, right?

“Don’t freak out, but it’s Maddie.” He said, watching me carefully for a reaction. He didn’t get one.

“Figures.” I said, before walking through to my room and passing out for a couple of hours.

My run with Stefan and the guys was okay, and my run just now on my own was good. But, neither have done anything to ease the horrible feeling I have in my gut about sleeping with that girl last night. I don’t know why I did it. After Jamie left the beach with her friends, I was not in a good mood to say the least. I didn’t wanna sleep with any other girl; I only wanted Jamie. But, that wasn’t gonna happen, not last night anyway. So when girls came up to me, I didn’t discourage them, and I ended up leaving the beach with this one girl, and well, you know. I’m not proud of it, but I did drink quite a lot, if that even excuses my actions. I’m supposed to be keeping my fucking libido under control, and so far, that’s just not happening.

But last night, I wasn’t even looking to hook up with anyone. Well, anyone besides Jamie. I don’t know what possessed me to go through with it with that girl. I just, did it. I was drunk, and it was a bad decision. Maybe that’s why I feel this way right now. Is this guilt? I think it is.

I’m going over to Jamie’s house tonight though, sometime after 7. That makes me feel better. The thought of seeing Jamie today makes me feel good, even with my slight hangover. Not because I like her. I don’t. But because I feel bad about what went down at the beach last night, and I feel bad about what I did to her at the Grill the other night now too. I feel bad for all the back and forth between us since I met her, so I wanna apologise for all of that. I have absolutely no intention of trying to sleep with her anymore, not after all of this crap with Will. But, I am looking forward to seeing her. It’s a weird feeling. I’m not sure if I like it or not. Whatever. I’ll see her tonight, everything will be good.