The Middle | ✔️

Chapter 89 (Sarah)

Sarah

Present day, 23:11pm

I've sent Erin a text to let her know that I'm spending the night at Joel's. As far as she knows, I only met Joel tonight, so she is definitely gonna find this weird. But Joel has assured me that his friends know he would never try to take advantage of me or anything like that, so this should be fine. And I am slightly annoyed that I haven't heard from Erin since she left the dance with Jay (in my frickin' car!), but like Joel says, those two have probably had a lot of catching up to do tonight. I can only hope they haven't murderer each other.

I've changed out of my angel costume, so I'm now wearing a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt, loaned from Joel. I've never worn his clothes before, and I've never been alone with him in a residential setting before. This is high pressure for sure. And we both know it.

We've been sitting in his living room under a throw blanket together talking about the nights events since we got back here and changed. Joel hasn't heard from Jay, Patrick or Jamie again, but he's confident that everything's fine. And I haven't heard from Noah again either, so we still have no idea why Jamie lost her cool with him earlier. This has been a weird as shit night, but I'm totally happy that it has resulted in Joel and I getting so much unforeseen alone time. But now, as we're thinking about turning in for the night, I'm suddenly incredibly nervous.

"Come on, I'll show you through to my room." Joel says, pulling the blanket off of us and standing up off of the couch. "I'll take the couch, seriously, it's fine."

"Joel, you are not sleeping on the couch. We've been over this already." I scold him as he holds his hands out to me, helping me off of the couch. He's always such a gentleman. I don't want the gentleman tonight though, I wanna see the side of him that spontaneously kissed me in the park in Philadelphia on our first date. I want the smooth operator.

"I know, but..." He smiles at me sheepishly as he leads me down the hall and into his bedroom. "You're wearing my clothes, you look amazing. We're alone. You're gonna be in my bed."

I grin at him and he rolls his eyes at me. "We're still taking things slowish. And we didn't plan for this to happen tonight. I wouldn't feel right about sleeping with you like this, and I don't think I could keep my hands off of you if I sleep next to you in bed."

"People don't always plan these things, Joel." I say, turning to face him and moving my hands from his, down to his waist. "And when are we gonna get another opportunity like this? We should make the most of it."

I stand up on my tip toes and kiss him lightly on the lips. He's so much taller than me, which I love. I look up into his eyes, and he's smiling at me. I know he wants me, but I know he wants to do the right thing too. To hell with doing the right thing. In my head, this is the right thing.

I turn my head and take in his bedroom. It's pretty much exactly how I expected it would be. Tidy, with only a couple of guitars laying around. No clothes on show at all, no dirty laundry or dirty dishes laying around. I smile to myself before pulling him over towards his neatly made double bed.

"Sarah..." Joel says as I pull his blanket back. I turn to face him again, smiling reassuringly. He looks worried though.

"Sarah, listen. You know I don't sleep around. So this may not come as a shock, but... I haven't had sex in three years."

Holy shit. Three years?

"Are you kidding?" I ask him, dead pan. I can't believe this.

He shakes his head. "No. I've only had one girlfriend before, we dated for almost two years. She's the only girl I've ever slept with. I just thought you should know."

And suddenly, I feel pretty bad about myself. I've never had a real relationship before, and he dated someone for two years? And I've had sex with a lot of guys. I've been with so much more people than he has. I still want him of course, I'm just a little shaken. I sit down on the bed, and he sits down next to me. Three years!? I need to assure him that I don't care. This is only a good thing. It proves that he's not an animal. He's not like most other boys, sleeping around and treating girls bad. He's amazing. I feel my heart swell as I realise just how deep my feelings for this boy really are.

"Thanks for telling me, but you didn't need to." I tell him, looking into his eyes. "I don't care about your past, only your future. And, I wanna be a part of it."

"You do?" He smiles down at me and I smile back at him.

"You know I do." I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him in closer to me. "We haven't slept together, but so what? Nothing feels better than this."

"I couldn't agree more." He says quietly, and I notice his eyes flickering down to my lips as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him.

And I guess that was exactly what he needed to hear, because now he's kissing me and pulling me backwards so that we're both laying down in his bed now, side by side, facing each other as we kiss. He needed to know that this thing between us is about more than just sex for me. And of course it is. I've been falling for him since the moment I met him, and I've never cared less about sex in my life. I want everything with him, not just the physical, which was the assurance he needed.

I roll myself over so that I'm laying on top of him, straddling him with my legs as we continue making out. His hands move from my lower back to my ass, and I rock my hips into him slowly. I'm turned on, but it's so much more than just feeling a sexual desire. I think I love him. God damn. I know I do. I'm in love with Joel Evans, and I guess there's no better way of letting him know that, than by making love with him. If he'll have me. I know he wants me, because I can feel his want for me pressing up between my thighs. But I don't wanna push him on this. It needs to be on both of our terms. I break away from our kiss and sit up.

"I want this, and I'm ready tonight. But, only if you are." I whisper, as his eyes skim over my body.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he opens them, I notice they've darkened a little.

"I don't have any condoms." He says, before smirking at me. I laugh and shake my head at him playfully.

"I'm not surprised." I say with a smile.

He lifts my body up slightly, before moving over and getting up off of the bed. I'm extremely disappointed, but I won't let it show. I sit up on the bed and watch as he walks over to the bedroom door.

"Where are you going?" I ask him.

"Patrick's room." He says simply, before disappearing through the doorway. And suddenly, I understand. Patrick is sure to have an endless supply of condoms.

I gasp as the realisation hits me. This is gonna happen after all. My excitement consumes me as I pull his t-shirt off over my head, and slip out of his sweats. When he returns, with an easily recognisable small cardboard box in his hand, I'm laying against his headboard, on top of the covers, in only my bra and panties. I smile as I watch his eyes widen at the sight of me, and when he places the box down onto his bed side table before getting on to the bed and wrapping his arms around me again, I know this is gonna be a night to remember.

He didn't just take one condom from Patrick's room. He took an entire box. He hasn't done it in three years, so I guess I should remind him how good it can be. Multiple times...

***

Three used condoms later, and I'm falling asleep naked in Joel's arms, completely sated and happier than I've ever been. The last thing I register is him kissing me gently on the forehead and saying something that sounds like olive shoe wearer. Olive shoe wearer? Who wears olive coloured shoes? What is he talking about? Oh my god. He just said I love you, Sarah. I'm half asleep, but I know exactly how he feels about me. And I know exactly how I feel about him.

"I love you too, Joel." I mumble into his chest, before exhaling slowly and drifting off to sleep, while he kisses my head again and squeezes his arms a little tighter around my body. Bliss.