The Middle | ✔️

Chapter 96

Jamie

00:37am

So, I'm back at my place. And I'm not alone. I can explain this, I can.

There I was, sitting in Shaun's ridiculously luxurious kitchen. Honestly, his apartment is insane. I mean, I knew his dad was rich, but fuck, I didn't expect his apartment to be so extravagant. He lives alone, and the rent must be a fucking fortune. Separate kitchen, dining area and living room. Three bedrooms, an en suite and a bathroom. And a fucking balcony, of course. Talk about excess.

Shaun fixed me a Jack and coke, which I appreciated. We talked a little. He told me to crash in one of the spare rooms, got me a toothbrush, offered me some spare pyjamas of Zara's to sleep in (I mean, no. I barely know the girl). It was all fine. But as I brushed my teeth, my mind went into overdrive again, and I decided I really should just go home. He laughed at me, and agreed to walk me home (he didn't wanna drive again, he'd had a Jack and coke too). I protested, but he insisted. He walked me home, and now here we are. In my kitchen. Having yet another drink.

I don't know what's going on with me tonight. I've been back and forth with Shaun since the gig in South Bridge, I lost my shit at the dance, I've been ignoring all of my friends. I've been a first rate bitch tonight, I know I have.

But I deserve it, okay? This thing with Noah has gotten me down, way down. I get a pass on my conduct tonight, surely.

Shaun and I finish our drinks, and he gets up to leave. Finally, bed time is approaching. I walk him out, and as he says his goodbyes at my front door, I feel so bad for the guy. He just wanted to have some meaningless sex, and I did too. And I've completely lead him on then let him down like three times now. I'm a horrible human being.

"Shaun?" I say as he walks down my front porch steps. He stops and turns back to face me. "Thanks for everything tonight. I really do appreciate it."

"Not a problem, Superstar." He says, flashing me that gorgeous smile of his. "And like I always say, it's never off the table with us."

He winks at me and turns around again. But you know what? Fuck it. He's been so nice to me, and he looks so good with his messy unkempt hair. And I did really enjoy making out with him before...

"Wait!" I call out, rushing down the steps as he turns to face me again.

I reach out and take him by both hands, surprising him, but he smiles.

"Don't get romantic on me, Hawkins. You know I'm not about that." He grins down at me.

"I know, which is exactly why I wanted to do this."

I stand up on my tiptoes and kiss him. We don't need to go all the way, not tonight anyway. But, we could fool around a little. Why not? Who's it gonna hurt, right?

His hands immediately land on my waist, and his tongue immediately finds its way into my mouth. This feels good, just like last time.

He backs me up a little, until I'm up against the bannister of my front porch. Hot, so hot. Imagine if we went at it, right here on my front porch. Fuck, that would be so naughty. And so hot. No, we can't.

But, I got a perfectly good bed.

I break away from him, look into his eyes and say "Fuck it, come upstairs."

"No." He says. "You'll change your mind again. I need you to be absolutely sure."

"I am." I tell him. The truth is, I'm not. But I'm back on fuck my bad decisions mode. And I wanna fuck him. I'm ignoring everything else.

"I can't know that for sure." He says. "You're so indecisive. I can't buy what you're saying anymore."

"Well in that case," I say, pulling him back up my porch steps, "come inside, and I'll show you."

He raises his eyebrows at me. I have his full attention.

"I'll climb on top of you and put in all the work. You can lay back and enjoy the ride. That way, you'll have absolutely no doubt about what I wanna do. You in?" I smile at him seductively as we step over the threshold, re-entering my house.

He doesn't say anything, he just smiles back down at me before closing the front door behind him, and allowing me to lead him up my stairs, towards my bedroom. I didn't even lock the front door just now, oh well. I highly doubt anyone's gonna show up at my house now. It's fine.

***

The End of Volume One